I sigh.
I remember what it was like when my mom left the guy she was with before Pete. That guy wasn't my dad, but he was the closest thing to one that Jeanette and I had, considering neither of our fathers was even in the picture. I remember vividly the pain of watching my mom choose Pete over her two daughters and thinking that Nettie and I weren't worthy of being chosen.
In second grade, my teacher asked me if I had any siblings. I said a sister, and her name was Jeanette Hannigan. The teacher looked at me and said, “What is your mother's last name?” And it occurred to me for the first time that my mother's last name was Randolph. Jeanette was Hannigan. I was the only Thorpe that I even knew.
I don't know what all Rosie has gone through in her life, but something tells me it's just as bad, if not worse, than what I went through. And come hell or high water, that’ll stop with me.
I'm going to give her the permanence that she deserves. Boone is great to her and with her, but he is not bound to her. If something would happen between him and me, and things go sideways, it’s not fair to have her positioned to get hurt by my mistakes.
“We'll see what happens,” I tell Libby. “After everything that's happened in the past few weeks to me, I'm a little leery of making definite plans.”
“That totally makes sense, Jax. And who knows how Rosie will adapt to losing her mom, you know?”
My heart sinks. “I know. I keep waiting for it to get harder. I’m not sure how this works. Does time make it harder—will it hit home for her eventually? Or will it just drift from her mind because she’s still so little?”
“I don’t know.”
I think about it, just as I have since the day I got Rosie. I don’t want her to forget her mother. Although I’m afraid that bringing her up will make her sad, I want her to be able to hold on to things about Nettie so she can remember them when she’s older.
“Have you figured anything out?” I ask Libby, changing pace. “Are you coming back to Savannah?”
“I think I'm going to stay in Nevada. My attorney says I'll get alimony, but I don't know how much or for how long. And I can force Ted to either sell the house or buy me out of it, and I'm going to. I should be set for a little while, but I'm definitely going to have to get a plan together because I can't live on that money forever.”
“Once I get settled, I'm coming out there to visit you. We can go to the strip club, drink too much, and see those guys who try to look like Channing Tatum in Magic Mike.”
“You have a child there, don’t you?”
My eyes go wide. “Yup. Crap.” I look up at Rosie. She’s dancing in her seat again. “I’m going to have to watch myself.”
She starts laughing. “You don't wanna do any of that any more than I do anyway.”
“I don't know. I really think I'm hitting a midlife crisis.”
“You're too young for that.”
I laugh too. “I can't wait to see what that brings then.”
“Jaxi!” Rosie calls.
I look up to see her pointing at the foyer.
“Somebody is here,” Rosie says.
“Lib, I have to go. I’ll call you soon, okay?”
“You better. I’m living vicariously through you and the love story you’re writing with my hunky ex-neighbor.”
I roll my eyes. “Stop watching so many soap operas. They’re warping your brain.”
She laughs. “Call me if you need me. I love you, Jaxi.”
“I’m here if you need me. Talk soon.”
“Jaxi,” Rosie insists as I hang up the phone. “Somebody is here.”
“I know. I got it.” I set the phone down and walk around the counter. “You sit right here and don’t get up. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I walk into the foyer and open the door. A woman in a tidy black uniform stands on the stoop. She smiles a bright white smile.
“Are you Jaxi?” she asks cheerfully.
“Yes. Can I help you?”
“Actually, I'm here to help you. My name is Christina, and I am with Rooney’s Cleaning Systems. Mr. Mason set up an appointment for us to come and clean the premises twice a week. He set us up for today but since you don't seem to know that I was coming ...”
That fucker.
I smile at the woman. “I'm gonna be really honest. I was not expecting you.”
“Well, ma'am, I can come back another day, but he paid extra to get us on the schedule. Is there a day you’d like us to get started?”
I have half a notion to tell her that I’ll handle it. But she seems to be with a small business, and I'm all about supporting small businesses. Why should they lose a customer out of pride?