The Introvert's Guide to Online Dating (The Introvert's Guide 1)

“Jesus, no. Why do you have so many apps? Why do you not have any kind of organizational system here? You do know you can put them into folders, don’t you?”

“Then I wouldn’t be able to find anything.”

“You’re enjoying my pain, aren’t you?”

Colton chuckled. “Little bit.”

“You suck.” I flipped through the one hundred thousand apps until I found the browser where I proceeded to type in “complicated recipes to piss off your boyfriend” just for a laugh.

At least forty blog posts came up offering me numerous options.

Look at that.

It wasn’t a bad idea after all.

As long as they didn’t give me their life story before they got to the recipe, we were good.

I really didn’t care how or when they developed the recipe. I just wanted the how-to and the ingredients.

A link to cut to the recipe, at the very least.

The first three were a bust thanks to their inclusion of avocado—ugh—or their life story. I scrolled down and tapped on a random link. The recipe was for the exceptionally complicated spaghetti Bolognese and the life story came after the recipe.

We had a winner.

“Spaghetti Bolognese!” I declared brightly.

“I can manage that,” Colton replied. “And you already have the beef.”

“No. It’s two days out of date. We’re gonna need fresh.”

“Is there anything fresh in your fridge right now?”

“The banana looked good.” I shrugged. “I haven’t been to the store yet. Since you’ve forced me here, I may as well get a few other things.”

“You’re the one who said we’d end up down a rabbit hole buying things we don’t need.”

“You’re shaming my fridge! I need stuff!”

“This was a mistake.” He shook his head as he pulled into a parking slot.

“I told you, but you didn’t listen to me.”

“I was trying to be optimistic.”

“Terrible idea.” I got out of the car and followed him to the door.

Colton grabbed a cart and tossed me a look from the corner of his eye, but he didn’t say another word.

Probably a good idea.

Evidently, I was feeling argumentative now.

“Okay. We can do this.”

“Who are you talking to?” Colton peered over at me.

“Myself,” I replied. “Personal pep talk, you know?”

“Can’t say I’ve ever done it myself.”

“You’re missing out. It’s a wonderful way to increase your own ego.” I stopped in front of the fruit display and perused the apples. “Shall I buy apples?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re not being very helpful.”

He sighed. “Do you like apples?”

“Sometimes.”

“So buy two or three.”

“I don’t know if I want them.”

“Are you being deliberately difficult to make a misguided point about how awful grocery shopping is?”

I skipped the apples and picked up a bag of oranges. “Thank you for noticing.” I smiled and put them in the cart. “I just hate doing it and I don’t think it’s something two people embarking on a relationship should engage in. Especially people as tempestuous as us.”

“I resent your use of the word tempestuous.”

“What would you use instead?” I grabbed some lemons and checked them over before putting them in the cart. “Volatile? Unpredictable?”

“Passionate.”

“That’s the kind of thing Romeo would have said to Juliet and look how that ended.”

He ran his tongue over his lips. “I don’t know how to talk to you right now.”

“That’ll be why I’m single.” I plucked the other things I needed from the fruit section and moved to the vegetables. Potatoes, corn, onions, sweet peppers… I made my way through it all and tossed it all in the cart.

Colton followed me through the store, only talking when he spotted an ingredient he thought we needed for Bolognese. I wasn’t sure what kind of stuff he put in his Bolognese but it was all wrong, so he had little choice but to pay attention to me and do it my way.

“Doritos,” he said as we approached the snack aisle. “I need Doritos for your snack drawer.”

“I’ve told you before, you can’t share my snack drawer. It’s mine.”

“I bought your cat tuna.”

“You did that yourself. It’s hardly a bargaining chip when I told you not to bother.” I grabbed my favorite snacks and tossed them all in the cart. There really wasn’t much space left, and I was glad I already had all the essentials.

He put the Doritos in anyway.

“You’re paying for those.”

“I’ll give you the two dollars when we’re in the car,” he said dryly.

“Thank you.” I paused to grab some kibble for Genevieve, and we went to the register. Thankfully, buying the groceries was a lot less stressful than the loading of the cart part, and we swiftly made it through the register and back to the truck.

I left Colton to load the trunk. We’d already argued about apples, we didn’t need to add the correct way to load a trunk to the agenda today.

I got into the truck and picked up his phone, which I’d left on the seat when I’d gotten out. I flipped it over to check the time right as a message came in.