The war, however, made leaving the pack impossible.
The pack doesn’t think like that anyway.
They mated, had baby lykans, and lived their lives together. Safety in numbers.
Lucien’s face appeared before her eyes and even though there was no one there to witness her wayward thoughts, she felt her face warm. Well, that can just stop right now, she snapped at herself. The Alpha. Pfft! Turning, she caught her blushing reflection in a long mirror attached to the wall. Caia frowned. She was quite small, she realized, studying her body and features. Her kinswomen were taller, fuller figured, with their olive complexions and warm-colored hair and eyes. They were all so beautiful compared to her pale scrawniness. Why didn’t she look like them?
The sound of laughter from downstairs pulled her from those thoughts. She was exhausted from the upheaval of her once dismal-but-quiet life to this “my goddess, they’re everywhere” existence, yet not weary enough to sleep. She tiptoed out of the room, not wanting to alert the rest of the pack downstairs, a task made difficult by thirty pairs of hypersensitive ears. But she managed to make no sound as she crept down the hallway, studying the simple black-and-white photos of what she could only surmise was the surrounding country.
She encountered a large bathroom and then a gymnasium. Why Lucien needed a home gym when he naturally looked like one big muscle, she had no idea. She was about to leave the gym and creep farther on when she heard Ella and Irini in the next room, whispering to one another.
“You were lonely,” Ella stated grimly.
She received no answer, but the rustling of clothing suggested Ella and Irini were hugging.
“It was just so strange being without the pack. Not to mention frightening, being out there … alone. I felt cold all the time.”
“You had Caia for company.”
“I know.”
There was a moment of silence, and Caia’s body tightened in anticipation. Maybe Irini really did hate her.
“What is she like? I mean, really like, Irini?”
Why does Ella sound so worried?
“She’s good, Mom.”
“Good?”
“Yes. Good. Kind, I mean. Gentle.”
“Gentle?”
Again, another stretched silence.
“Gentle, Irini? Lykans aren’t gentle.”
“I mean in nature. She’s sweet. Not quick to anger or impatience. Calming, there’s a tranquility about her but also a lack of fire… I dunno.”
“I noticed. She’s so still. So not—”
“Like us,” Irini finished. “I noticed it more and more as she grew. There was no passion, no tempestuous outbursts … you can, you know … tell—”
“Ssshh.” Ella abruptly cut her off, and Caia realized she must have been heard. Quickly, and as quietly as she could, she returned to her new room and shut the door behind her. She leaned against it, trying to catch her breath. Then she laughed, but not in merriment.
“How did I get here?” she asked no one.
She couldn’t let their conversation upset her, and she couldn’t let herself dwell on what Irini was about to say or it would drive her crazy. She’d had enough crazy for one day.
When the sounds of the pack leaving filtered up to her room, the final kicks of the gravel driveway as their cars drove off, Caia cracked open her window and descended to the ground with the ease and agility of her species. Landing on the grass with a soft thud, Caia breathed a sigh of relief. She let the smell of the damp earth and wet wood overwhelm her. It was wonderful. Glancing up at the moon, shining like a brilliant orb of comfort in the dark sky, Caia thanked Artemis that it had made an appearance from behind the clouds tonight; she could peel the anxiety of rejoining the pack from her human skin, and run.
Quickly, she removed her clothes, the night air cooling her anxious flesh.
And then, she let the change happen.
She felt the pain of her skin transforming. She could feel every piece of fur pushing through, and ironically, the pain was like that of someone pulling a strand of hair from her scalp—that unexpected wince—but thousands of winces all over her body. She relished the burning pain of her muscles stretching and straining as they reshaped, the satisfying crack of her bones as they said goodbye to the girl and hello to the wolf, the way the rushing in her ears drowned out her surroundings as her heart grew larger to pump the extra blood her other self needed.
She watched her nose grow in front of her eyes into a long snout, felt the sharp, watery pain of her eyes elongating, her vision defined and clear. Caia came down on all fours, enjoying how soft the ground felt against her hard, leather paws. Then she laughed, a hoarse animal sound, at the tickling sensation that was left over when the change was complete.
It was exhilarating to be a wolf.
The trees were a blur as she took off through them, racing around obstacles and leaping over bracken. She felt the warm glow of the moon on her soft pelt and knew it didn’t matter about the pack being home. She already had a home, and she was running with it, the night whispering comforting words in her ears as she soared.