And yet, there was no denying that was exactly how I felt as I paced her home, unsure what my next move was supposed to be.
I had no idea if there was an actual emergency, those calls to my phone aside, since she always kept weapons around, and she also didn't keep a normal schedule, thanks to working for herself.
She might have just went out.
She may have been calling me to ask about the list of security systems I said I would send her, that I hadn't gotten around to yet.
But I didn't know.
I wasn't sure.
And that uncertainty was making it difficult to sit still.
But I couldn't clean. Because what if something had gone wrong? What if there was evidence around?
If I didn't see a sign of her by the end of the day, I was calling the police.
I still would have lost important hours if something had happened, and that was killing me. But if I called prematurely, the cops came by, and she suddenly walked through the door, I would have wasted their time, taken their attention away from actual cases.
In any other situation, I could have brought my team in. Nia, at least, could have done some digging for me. But that was out of the question.
So I just had to wait.
With a swirling stomach.
And a racing mind.
It was sometime around one in the afternoon when I thought I heard a door slam outside.
Before I could even get up from the dining room chair, though, the front door was flying open, and Poppy was literally running inside.
"Poppy." Her name gasped out of me, a surprised, yet relieved sound that made her freeze mid-stride, her eyes going huge.
"Finn," she said, mouth falling open.
"I thought something happened to you," I explained quickly, needing to excuse my being in her house when she wasn't home. "The missed calls. I thought something was wrong," I clarified.
To that, the tension seemed to leave her body in a rush, leaving her shoulders to fall and her face to soften.
"Oh, that. Those were accidental dials. While I was having a bit of a freak-out, thinking someone was trying to break in."
"Was someone?"
"I, ah, no. It was a cat. I think I was just getting a little too wrapped up in work and paranoid. And I panicked. And hid in the basement. Like it was some horror movie. Yogurt here has proven to be more scared of the world than I am," she added, snorting as the Rottweiler mix hid behind her legs, sticking her head out to sniff at the air to get a whiff of me. "I'm sorry I made you worry," she added. "I thought you were going to think I was a psycho for calling."
"I didn't think you were the type to call several times in a row unless you needed to."
"I'm not," she agreed.
"But you didn't answer when I called back, so I worried."
"Right. Well, after the whole cat and basement scare, I decided it was time for a little break. I wanted to spend a few nights at my mom's. I only managed one. I checked my phone finally this morning. They found her."
"They found who?" I asked, confused.
"Shelley Shannon. Well, her body. It would have been naive to think it was possible to find her alive after all this time. But I saw the notifications, so I decided to cut my break short, to rush home and cover the case. I know a lot of my listeners are really invested in this one."
"I won't keep you," I said, feeling like a fool for over-reacting, wondering if she thought I was a creep for forcing myself into her space.
"No, stay. I want you to stay," she clarified. "I just need to do a bit of research and a quick report. But you can stay. I mean, if you want. I know you were out of town for a while. I understand if you just want to be home."
I didn't want to be home.
I wanted to be right here with her.
"How about I run home for a shower and change," I suggested, silently adding getting my car washed, and running a quick carpet cleaner across it until I could get around to doing a full detail. "That way, you can work without distractions. And then I can come back around dinner. And set up a better security system for you, so cats don't send you running to the basement."
"You don't have to do that," she insisted.
"But if I want to?"
"Then I'm sure as hell not going to stop you," she said, smiling. "How was work?"
"Long," I told her, shrugging. "But over. Thankfully."
"So, you'll be around for a few days?" she asked, a hint of hopefulness in her tone.
"Barring any other emergencies, yes."
"Any big family reunions or vacations planned?"
"No."
"What I am hearing is... I can monopolize your time for a bit."