But she’d had a passenger on board, too.
The instinct. That’s what she’d started calling it. The instinct that loved his protectiveness. Loved his care and thrilled to his touch.
It pulsated and burned and ordered her to tempt.
To break Tucker’s self-control.
She simultaneously resented the instinct—after all, it forced her to sexually frustrate her favorite vampire—and she also loved it. Wanted to drown in its endless depths. Because it gave her permission to take exactly what she needed…and that was Tucker. Her body screamed for him even now, as replete as he’d left her. The desire wouldn’t lessen. It refused.
And it wasn’t only the needs of her flesh that made her gravitate toward Tucker.
It was more. A lot more.
She loved being in his company. Felt understood and safe there. Optimistic and comfortable and appreciated. He was principled, compassionate and funny. He hadn’t judged her bucket list. On the two occasions where she’d been powerless to hold back her scream, he’d calmed her afterward. While they were in bed, she’d even managed to stave off the scream with his helpful distractions. She’d never done that before. Not once in her life.
Tucker made her…happy.
What could she do about this?
Nothing.
Certainly not…pursue a permanent relationship.
Not without betraying her mother. Not without forsaking the alliance and the fae. Losing the chance to see her father again by calling back the Assembly. To stand in front of their leadership whole. A daughter and woman who could see. Guide and protect herself. Someone who would be a valuable asset in the fae realm.
The list of things she would be giving up by staying with Tucker was longer than her arm—and she wasn’t even his mate. What happened when he met this faceless individual? Mary would be abandoned and alone. She’d have lost everything for temporary happiness.
Mary rolled over in bed, using her nose to search for Tucker’s cigar and mint scent.
Inhaling it greedily.
She really needed to get a hold of herself. They almost had sex. She’d encouraged him to drink her blood and while they might not be mated, she couldn’t imagine that wouldn’t bond them even more than they already were.
Maybe her hunger for Tucker was a product of being sheltered?
Yes. Relieved by her own reasoning, Mary reached for that possibility like a lifeline.
What if she’d been denied basic life experiences, including love, for so long…that her first attraction was coming on stronger than it normally would?
Her soul rebelled against that theory, but it was possible just the same.
Wasn’t it?
Restless and confused, Mary drifted into a fitful sleep where Tucker’s voice called to her from a great distance, but she held no stick, had no idea what obstacles lay in front of her. Couldn’t feel her way forward.
And with her very first step, she tumbled into an endless pit without a bottom.
* * *
Tucker paced on the backyard grass, his gaze glued to the bedroom window.
How close he’d come to making the ultimate mistake.
Sealing their bond by drinking her blood, dooming her to a life of servicing his hunger. Or sentencing himself to an agonizing death without her. And this…this was what it meant to have a mate. Because he could only think of the guilt his death would cause for Mary.
Not his own loss of life.
Her happiness and well-being was—and would always be—what mattered most.
That meant delivering her safe to Hadrian, who had the ability to make her see.
Tucker could never mess with that. He had nothing even close to offer.
“This is the longest I’ve ever witnessed you go without laughing.” Jonas said, looking up from his phone with a squinted eye. “Your circumstances must be dire.”
“I thought vampires weren’t supposed to get headaches,” Tucker complained, grinding his fist into his eye socket. “I want to file a complaint with management.”
“Sorry, we’re a little busy at the moment.”
“Figures.” He tore his attention away from the window. She was safe and sound in bed. No tile to slip on this time. “What did you come here to talk about?”
“What didn’t I come here to talk about? That’s the better question.”
The weariness in Jonas’s tone made Tucker really study his friend for the first time since he’d arrived. Concern lined the king’s forehead, tension bracketed his mouth. “Let’s start with the easy stuff.” Jonas leaned a shoulder against the fence, his stare taking on a far-off quality. “Just kidding, it’s all hard.”
“That’s what she said.” Tucker threw up his hands when the king leveled him with a stare. “I’m supposed to just ignore an opportunity like that?”
Jonas nodded at the house. “What did I interrupt in there?”
Tucker snorted, raked a hand through his hair. “Use your imagination.”
“No, thanks.” The king blinked once and drawled, “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
That was the last thing Tucker expected the usually crisp and calm king to ask him. But as soon as the words were spoken, he started to wonder the same thing. He was driving this girl to her wedding. She was marrying their enemy. And he’d been caught rolling around with her half naked like two teenagers drunk at a frat party. What the hell had happened to his judgment? “It’s complicated. You of all people should understand.”