I’ve agreed to marry one man…and I’m the mate of another.
Not just any man, though. Tucker.
Even though he’d explained his reasons for secrecy, her brain continued to pose the question, why? Why? Over and over again. No explanation satisfied her. It was possible that nothing ever would again. Because how could she live knowing Tucker was out there alone, in need of his mate, and would never have her?
The knowledge that he’d be eternally restless was like a sledgehammer to the ribs, making her curl tighter into herself, trying to keep her breathing pattern normal.
In, out. In, out.
Even after the lies, she longed for him to open the door and join her in the room. To be as close as possible. To put his arms around her and call her his mate.
Dangerous, pointless wishes that she should not indulge in.
Her body had other ideas, though.
Mary turned her open mouth into the comforter, the rasp of material against her lips somehow erotic. She rolled onto her stomach and tilted her hips, exhaling at the pressure against her pubis, her palms raking up the comforter, twisting in the sheets tucked beneath the pillow case. There was nothing unusual about being aroused in Tucker’s presence, but this was different. More. Knowing she was his mate, that she alone could give him release, set loose a flurry of pulses to her libido, playing her desire like a harp.
Her marriage to Hadrian would be platonic. She wouldn’t be forbidden from taking lovers, either. Even if the plan was to remain here in the human realm, Tucker would never go for being her lover whilst she was married, even in name only. He was too honorable, too traditional and it would be impossibly hard for her vampire, being with her when she belonged to someone else, even if just on paper. But she wasn’t married yet.
God, she was righteously angry at Tucker. That didn’t stop her from wanting to give him one night. Give him the full satisfaction he would be denied if she married…
Wait.
If?
When had she started thinking in terms of if?
Uncertainty didn’t belong here. She’d made promises to her mother. To herself.
To marry Hadrian, whether he was a negative force or a positive one, meant seeing the world for the very first time. Being independent and knowing what mountains, oceans, rivers and people looked like. That was not a small thing. It was a gift that couldn’t be quantified.
She’d never see Tucker through her new eyes, though, and that fact made her miserable. Made her panic.
And the panic made it impossible to ignore that yes, this marriage was the means to making her dreams come true, but she was marrying the bad guy, wasn’t she? No sense in pretending otherwise. Hadrian wanted to dethrone the current king for being too peaceful. For supporting vampires and their quest to live with as much normalcy as possible. Whereas Hadrian didn’t want their true instincts subdued, or even controlled, in any way.
He wanted war and power.
She was leaving the best man for potentially the worst.
Would she ever feel at home again?
Even angry at Tucker, she was still in the exact right spot. That knowledge stirred her blood. And lord, lord, she was confused. Her body was screaming for an outlet and some deeply rooted part of her knew what it would be. What was necessary. If she didn’t give Tucker the satisfaction that only her body could, she’d live up to her name and truly go mad.
A knock on the door made her sit up, her head turning in the direction of the sound.
“Tucker?”
“Yeah.” The floorboards groaned in the hallways. “Can I come in?”
Mary wet her lips, thighs rubbing together anxiously. “Yes.”
A creak was followed by boot steps coming closer, then the soft closing of the door. “My father has, uh…crashed for the night.” He sounded almost shy. “He’s not used to this much excitement.”
She smoothed her palm over the bedding beside her, determining that there was enough space for Tucker to sit down. He didn’t take the hint, however, making her frown. “Did you tell him?”
“Sure did. He took it better than I expected. Aliens, fine. Vampires, no problem. Who’d have thought it would be the existence of fairies that threw him for a loop?”
“Oh dear. I’ll have to make a good impression tomorrow.” She took a moment to marvel over that. “Tucker, why are you standing so far away?”
“You’re going to think this is crazy, but I think it’s being back in my old bedroom. It’s the first time I’ve had a girl in here.”
Pleasure trickled into her belly, spiking her already potent awareness. “Oh.”
“Look,” Tucker said. “I’m sure you’re still angry at me. You have every right to be. I should have told you the truth. Should have told you what—who—you are to me, Mary.” A beat passed. “I worried it might alter your decision…and you can’t do that. I’m not what’s best for you.”