Not trusting herself to speak, she only nodded.
Elias laid her back down on the bed and stepped back frowning, appearing as if he wanted to say something. Instead, his mouth formed a grim line and he backed away from Roksana, crossing the room in a vampiric haste to collect the fallen groceries. “Nothing was open so I helped myself,” he muttered, snatching up the bags and dropping them onto the kitchen counter. “Painkillers, some decent clothes, a few ready-made sandwiches—”
Roksana whimpered.
The corner of his mouth ticked up into a smile, though he was partially facing away and Roksana suspected she wasn’t supposed to see it. A flower sprouted in her belly. On his way back to her, he unwrapped the sandwich, hesitating before handing it over. “Can you hold it?”
She nodded, reaching out slower than her appetite begged her to, taking the sandwich as if it were a rare delicacy and sinking her teeth into the cold yet crusty bread. “Ohmygod.” Elias chuckled, coming back a second later with two blue pills and a bottle labeled Baikal, causing Roksana to pause mid-chew. “This was my favorite drink growing up. I was only allowed to have it on my birthday.”
“That’s pretty strict.”
“Pleasure in abundance is gluttony.” She tossed the blue pills into her mouth, uncapped the bottle and took a long, satisfying pull of the carbonated soda, sending the painkillers tumbling down her throat. “My mother would say that all the time. I think she even had it laminated and taped to our refrigerator.”
Elias leaned back against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, watching her closely. “Based on my credit card statement, you’re only a glutton for shopping.”
“Yes, well.” Reluctantly she twisted the cap back onto the Baikal and set it aside. “I obviously pick and choose which of my mother’s lessons to follow, don’t I? It is a great fault of mine, this selective learning.”
“It was a joke, Roks,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t pointing out a fault.”
She shrugged off his sort-of apology. “My positive attributes are in much greater supply.”
“There you are,” she thought she heard him say under his breath.
Roksana ate in silence for a couple of minutes, far too hungry to be self-conscious about the too-observant, annoyingly sensual vampire watching her eat. “What about you?” She took the final bite of the sandwich, then collapsed back onto the bed, her strength spent. “Did you keep a strict household in Los Angeles?”
She turned her head to find Elias chewing the inside of his cheek. “How did you know I was from Los Angeles?”
Because you flashed your badge once to get me out of trouble with the police.
You called me havoc wreaker.
Remember.
Why did the loss of him feel as fresh today as it felt three years ago?
No. No, it was worse.
It got worse every time Roksana thought she detected traces of his past self.
“Los Angeles,” Roksana hummed, trying not to be obvious about gathering the scent of his coat into her nose. “Jonas or Tucker must have mentioned it.”
Several beats passed. “My household was not strict, no. Not growing up, anyway. No one really paid attention to my comings and goings. Got into a lot of trouble that way.” A line formed between his eyes. “Trying to get someone to notice me and give a shit.”
Roksana realized she’d been holding her breath. Had he spoken to her this honestly or at this length since Vegas? Definitely, positively not. She would have remembered every word. “And did they? Start to notice you?”
“No,” he said simply.
Her heart panged when he didn’t elaborate. “I’m wondering which is worse. A parent who notices everything, controls all. Or a parent who washes their hands at the beginning.” She laid a hand flat on the mattress. “Maybe it doesn’t matter. Look how we ended up in the same apartment in Moscow. One of us dead, one of us halfway there.”
His nostrils flared. “You’re nothing like me, Roksana. You’re alive and…”
He trailed off, visibly reining himself in.
“I’m alive and…courageous. Fashionable. The perfect shade of natural blonde.” She gave an exaggerated sniff. “You may keep going.”
Amusement crept into his expression. “Wild, impossible, argumentative.”
Roksana bit back a smile. “You spoil me with these compliments, vampire.” Why are you flirting with him? He is meant to be your enemy. She forced her features into a frown and huddled deeper into his coat, desperate for a reminder of why she hated him in the first place.
“Didn’t you have friends that noticed you growing up?”
The scar on his lip lightened a shade. “Yes, I had one.”
A change in his tone perked up her sixth sense. “You’re no longer friends with him because you were Silenced?”
His puff of laughter was humorless. “No. I cut ties with a lot of people when I was Silenced, but Jaxson and I stopped being friends long before that.”