That’s how they work.
—Mel’s Motivational Blog
Tanner checked his phone as he headed to his truck. The text he’d been waiting on had yet to come through and each passing minute he grew more and more anxious.
Anxiety—a by-product of his occupation and the bane of his existence. He hated the quick heartbeats, the nerves that couldn’t be suppressed. Unfortunately, since his days in the air force, he couldn’t ignore the signs of his anxiety. He’d been too proud to talk to a counselor and definitely too stubborn to go to a doctor for medication. There was nothing wrong with people who did, but admitting weakness, especially in his line of work, simply wasn’t how he wanted to go.
Work on the police force consumed his days. His secret project on the side consumed several nights each week. It was the night hours that caused him the most apprehension. A year of leading a double life was hard on his social time, but so damn rewarding he wasn’t about to give it up. Even his best friends and cousins, Jax and Cash, had no idea what he really did.
The last few hours of his day shift seemed to drag because all he could think of was this text regarding the undercover operation he’d been working on for the past few weeks. Aside from waiting on that message, a certain blonde with green eyes and a punch-to-the-gut smile also occupied a good chunk of real estate in his mind.
She was the first woman he’d approached in months. Not long ago his date card had been filled up and his evenings were all about himself. Not anymore.
Hadn’t he vowed not to get too involved with a woman again? Getting his heart torn out once was enough. No matter how many years passed, the hole where his fiancée and child had lived still gaped and he couldn’t let more hurt inside. So he’d gone on the defensive and only dated women who weren’t his type, who wouldn’t expect a ring or commitment.
When he dated, Tanner didn’t go after a woman more than once. He never led a woman on, either. He always remained up-front and honest about his intentions.
His own personal hell aside, Tanner had seen enough from Cash, Jax, and even his own mother to know that marriage usually ended in disaster. Though his cousin Jax had found his perfect match with Livie Daniels. Those two did seem like they were made for each other and Tanner couldn’t deny they would no doubt defy the odds and stay together.
Cash, hell, that poor man had been through it with his pill-addicted father and a wife who couldn’t handle the ups and downs that came with addiction, so she left.
And his own mother had just remarried a few years ago to a guy who seemed to dote on her and worship the ground she walked on. Tanner’s stepfather was one powerful man and always put his wife first with everything. Obviously those two were in love.
That wasn’t the case for everybody, and he simply didn’t want to take that chance. The nightmare he’d endured in his early twenties had scarred him for life. There was no way in hell he’d ever let his heart get that involved with a woman again, or ever attempt to start a family. His fiancée’s unplanned pregnancy had thrown him for a loop, and just when he’d gotten used to the idea, embraced the fact he was going to be a father, his entire world had been ripped from him.
That whole incident at too young an age made him who he was today. He threw himself into his work, he devoted every waking hour to saving others. That way, there would be no time for heartache or personal attachment. Dating randomly was fine. Casual sex was fine, too. He was human, after all.
Tanner was well aware what people said about him being a player. The same words were thrown around when Jax was single, and Cash also had those rumors spreading around him.
Tanner wasn’t going to waste his time defending himself to people whose opinions didn’t matter. He had a heart to protect and his reasons didn’t need to be shared. Everyone coped with life differently, and random hookups were how he dealt with his.
What mattered most to him were defending the weak, seeking justice, and living each day to the fullest. With his hectic schedule, he certainly did just that.
On the occasion he had free time lately, he went out, had a good time, and that was the end of it. His personal life really shouldn’t be the concern of gossipmongers, but small towns and all that. He’d grown up here, he was well aware how people enjoyed chattering. If they were talking about him, at least they were leaving others alone.
So what if he’d dated quite a bit in his past? What was a single man supposed to do? Stay home? Those in town knew what he’d been through years ago, but they’d rather discuss the man he was now as opposed to the great loss he’d endured.
Tanner purposely didn’t lead women on, but after that heated night with Melanie, damn if he didn’t want more. Not a relationship, but definitely to see her again and not just with their group of friends.
There had been something so vulnerable, ye
t so feisty about her. She’d had a sadness in her eyes when she’d first come to town, yet she always tipped that defiant chin and never backed down from a verbal sparring match. That in and of itself had spoken volumes about her resiliency and strength. Damn if he wasn’t instantly drawn to her because of her attitude.
When Tanner had discovered she had a successful blog site, he’d checked it out, then fell down the rabbit hole and started looking through her popular social media accounts. He’d been stunned to find out just how many people she inspired through her stories and motivation. The praise from her followers and the stories they shared proved how giving and loving Melanie truly was.
And his admiration had gone up another notch.
While he knew full well who her ex was, she’d never once mentioned that on her blog or any of her accounts. It was almost as if she’d started completely over.
Tanner actually didn’t know her that well. Little bits of information came out here and there, but other than that one heated night, he’d never been alone with her to actually talk. She was closed off for the most part, didn’t volunteer information unless she was asked. The quiet, reserved, yet dynamic woman had sparked his interest from day one and damn if that didn’t confuse him even more because he’d never been this intrigued by a woman.
A while back, Jax had told Tanner that Melanie’s ex was Neville Prescott, mayor of Atlanta. His cousin had also hinted about a less-than-perfect marriage she’d come from. But Tanner hadn’t heard anything about her past from Melanie herself. He never asked and she never offered up the information. All of her social media and blogs discussed healthy lifestyles, eating habits, exercise, how to make every day count, and living life to its fullest. Clearly she wanted things regarding her marriage and divorce to be kept private, which was fine with him. He had his own demons he kept locked away. Didn’t everyone?
Over the last few weeks, Tanner had been so swamped with the side project that he’d had little time to get in touch with Melanie. But he’d at least texted her, to which she had given some lame, brief reply.
Tanner slid behind the wheel of his truck and fired up the engine. His mind flashed to the narrow, darkened hallway at Taps where he’d followed Melanie. She’d flashed that heavy-lidded gaze over her shoulder and given him a wink. He’d followed like a moth to the proverbial flame, making sure no one had been looking. Those swaying hips had hypnotized him, her out-of-character flirting had pulled him in and left him hypnotized. Hell, he was still in a trance from that night well over a month ago.
Something had triggered this new attitude, and he wasn’t going to question the new Melanie. He’d wanted her since he’d first laid eyes on her.