Melanie shook her head, not even bothering to ask what he meant. “We have to ignore it.”
“Why should we?”
Oh, no. “We have to,” she whispered, feeling her resolve slipping away.
“Mel.”
She shut her eyes. Maybe if she wasn’t looking at him she wouldn’t have this ache, this need inside her. But she could still smell his woodsy scent, still feel the brush of his body as he shifted closer.
She’d thought staying away from him after that night would help her move on like the strong woman she claimed to be. Unfortunately, that gap in time only made her ache for more.
“I still want you,” he murmured. “Damn if I’ve tried not to, but knowing you’re carrying my child makes me want you even more.”
Panic bubbled up in her. Melanie opened her eyes and darted out from between Tanner and the wall. She made her way across the room and pulled in a deep breath. Flashes from her marriage darted through her mind, but that was all in the past. She had to keep reminding herself each time her thoughts drifted. She was safe now.
“Mel?”
With her back to him, she held up a hand to hold him away. “You can’t say things like that, Tanner. No matter how attracted I am, there’s nothing else for us. I can’t be more than your friend.”
“And the mother of my child.”
Dropping her hand to her side, she nodded. “Yes.”
Silence settled over the room once more before she heard the soft footfalls behind her.
“I don’t know what all you endured, but I’ve seen some ugly shit in my day. You don’t have to recover alone.”
Squaring her shoulders and spinning around, she nodded. “I’m not alone and I’ve recovered. I revert back to that scared woman every now and then, but not as often as I used to. I’ll be fine, and I really just want to focus on this baby.”
He looked as if he wanted to say something else, but ultimately he gave a clipped nod. That pain still flashed through his eyes. Something had hurt him, or someone. Looks like the tough officer had his own past to deal with.
“I’ll respect your wishes,” he told her. “We don’t have to talk about what happened before you came here, we don’t have to let anyone know about the baby just yet, but the doctor’s appointment isn’t an option. I’ll be there.”
She could deal with that. “Thank you.”
“But,” he warned, crossing those thick arms over his broad chest. “I won’t be silent in this pregnancy. You can’t stop me from trying to protect you, either.”
“I don’t need—?
?
“Maybe not,” he interjected, his eyes never wavering from hers. “I can’t stand to see that fear in you and for my own reasons, I need to be by your side.”
And here she thought she’d hidden her insecurities so well. She prided herself on being strong, on forcing herself to put one foot in front of the other, no matter the circumstances.
As much as she wanted to let Tanner console her, it would be all too easy to fall back into the old Melanie, who worried if she stood on her own she’d fall. That woman was gone.
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him, confident she truly would be. “We’re both just reeling from this shock and it’s best if I go.”
Weeks ago, she’d given in to those sultry eyes and the unspoken invitation for comfort. It had been so easy to seek solace from him that night. He’d made her forget, he’d made her feel powerful in her own right, and he’d left her longing for more.
“You’re running.”
Melanie threw her hands out. “Yeah, I am. Okay? I’m out of my element, Tanner, and I’m terrified. Of you and this baby. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
He didn’t move, but the way his stare held her in place was just as potent as if he’d reached out and touched her. “I just want you to be honest with yourself. Don’t sugarcoat things for me. You don’t have to be resilient all the time.”
Melanie closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath. “But I do,” she whispered. “I have to.”