Oh damn, we didn't sign a prenup. Does he realize that? 'Sky...I just realized we didn't do a prenup.'
He sends me a laughing emoji. 'Of course we didn't. Why would we?'
'Ummm...because your net worth.'
'If something happened to me, I would be pleased for you to be in control. YOU might not be. We need a plan, and I'll make it all legal. So it doesn't fall onto your lap past the point where you would want it to. But...you do need to know the basics.'
I send laughing emojis of my own. ‘I feel like a kept man.’
'You're the keeper of my heart. You're the keeper of our baby.'
I send the blushing smilie. 'You're the keeper of mine too, Sky babe. So like…if we send her the money, is Eden formally ours? What if something happens?'
'I can set it up so she isn't paid until she's signed the papers. I believe that's doable.'
I blow a breath out.
‘Will this seem like confirmation to the tabloids that we had sex with the mother? And will that be okay for work for you?’
‘Everything is okay.’ Hmm. That’s weirdly certain, and I guess weirdly optimistic, too. 'Do you want to take a few days to think?’ he asks me. ‘It's okay if you do.'
'Do you?' I ask Sky.
'I've wanted to be a father for a long while. Starting a family with you sounds better than almost anything to me. I know all this is newer for you.'
'Why? Because I'm an artist and not a pastor? ;) It's not new for me. I want a family too. I want our family.'
I see him typing and deleting for a moment. 'Okay, I'm going to set the wheels in motion, Rayne.'
18
Vance
I sit around for a while with the TV on mute. Thinking, I guess. Thinking about my mom and how I know she really would be proud and happy. Thinking about my dad, and how...I don't know. Fucking sad it is, really. It's not new, but this angle of it is. More than anything, I think I just feel like I got unlucky. At least with my father. Mom was amazing, and I miss her every day. It still stings, though, that the sperm donor doesn't want to know me. I think it always will. I think if it didn't, then I wouldn't be me. I'm a guy who feels shit. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
I think of Sky, dating the girl I saw kissing him that night in his office. Wanting just to have a life. A real one. I think of me always so fucking restless back in Chelsea. Then I look at Eden, and it seems too good to be true. I feel that old familiar feeling of the other shoe about to drop. Just plain ole anxiety, wrapped in a not-so-special package, coming to me like something I've got on repeat delivery.
Maybe I should get out. Just go for a walk or some shit. It's kind of windy, but I could bundle her up. Maybe I could put one of Luke's bulkier socks around her little head as a hat. I could use a pillow case as a pouch.
The more I think about it, the more I decide that after I give her another bottle, I'll carry that car seat by its handle, and I'll walk around the block. Maybe stop and get a veggie burger. If I wear a beanie, no one will know who I am. Not having much hair has been good for that: most of the pictures of me, including the hospital video, show me with my longer hair.
"What do you think?" I whisper to Eden. "Should I be a long-haired Daddy? Would you like to be tickled by my soft hair?”
Her eyelids flutter, and I bounce her some, to get her back to sleep. But she's awake. And it's okay. She doesn't even cry. She starts to move some, and then she brings a hand to her mouth, and I think that's the universal cue for hungry.
I'm surprised and glad when Sky calls as I make her bottle.
"You know, this is the most I've heard from you in a workday in a while,” I tease him.
"I know." His voice sounds heavy. “I was nervous, but I’m not now. Now I really just don’t care.”
“Did something happen?”
“Got some calls about our wild night. Some people pissed off. But I’m happy. I’m allowed to go to Vegas and get married. And if I’m not.” He makes a soft sound. “We’ll do something different.”
Shit, does he think we’re going to have to? I don’t ask that. Instead, I change the subject.
“I’m thinking of taking this baby down to get a veggie burger.”
" Wish I was there." He sounds restless.
"Do you think you should take tomorrow off or something? Just so you won't feel left out of the bonding?"