I start in the direction of the cafeteria, through which I’ll access my preferred hall to lead me out the back of the building, where I’ll check if both the cars are still here—but I can hear Frank follow.
I whirl toward him. “Hey, man. You coming with me?”
I know he is.
He makes a wide-eyed sort of face and lifts his shoulders.
“I know it’s your job, right? It’s your job to follow me?”
He nods once. “To assess threats,” he starts, but I interrupt.
“I appreciate it, I really do. I know you’re trying to follow orders. But this time, I want to walk out by myself. Okay?”
He nods once, looking understanding. “Okay,” he says gruffly.
Now I feel like shit for waving him off.
“Sorry,” I say, sounding as miserable as I feel.
“Don’t be sorry.” He gives me a winky smile. “You’re running the show, chief. I’m just here to help you make it happen.”
“You’re here to keep me from getting shot. Isn’t that right?”
He nods once, looking almost ashamed.
“I promise I’ll do my best not to get shot tonight going to the parking deck.”
I laugh when I get out there, finding Sky took the Prius and left me the Tesla. But the Tesla doesn’t open for me without a pass code, and Sky changed that the other day, when it had to be serviced.
I try the old passcode, and yep, not gonna work.
‘Would you want to take Eden to your house for a while?’
Arrow replies fast. ‘Yeah, no problem. Looks like I’ve got her carrier, etc.’
‘Thanks. I’ll be in touch soon.’
I feel like shit for sending Eden home with someone who’s not one of us. But I’ve gotta go track down Sky.
I give a soft laugh as I fish my phone out of my pocket. One more call to Sky—and one more call ignored—and I fire up the Uber app.
I go to Sky’s aunt’s house, the place we often go to when we’re both feeling like shit. I wait at the top of the stairs that lead down to the dock for more than half an hour before deciding I’ll walk down a few blocks and call another Uber. Safer that way, to be picked up in a crowded area.
I text Luke again as I walk down the dark street.
‘Sky babe…please check in.’
When he doesn’t reply in the next five minutes, I block his ass. Not to be a dick, but so I don’t have to feel the shitty weight of knowing that he’s choosing to ignore me. He’s choosing to withdraw rather than let me help him. Let me hold him.
He doesn’t go to you, though, does he? Over the years, he never ran to you. You pursued him. And maybe that’s the way this works.
I tell the stupid voice in my head to shut up and stuff my hands into my pockets. They don’t fit, though. Big hands, always bigger than it seems like I would have.
Big hands, big heart.
Jesus, my internal monologue is stupid.
Don’t say the Lord’s name in vain, Vance Rayne McDowell. Don’t be a dick.
I suck air in through my nose and tap the pocket that holds my inhaler.
Then I text Arrow again. ‘Sorry for the change of plans, but could you take Eden to our house?’ Edey would probably feel more at ease in her own home. ‘I should be there in an hour?’
‘Sure, that sounds good.’
‘Security will let you in.’
‘Pearl said to ask you if you’ve seen Luke.’
My stomach flips at that. ‘Why didn’t she call me?’
‘I’m not sure. Sorry.’
‘I haven’t heard from Luke. I’ll get in touch with Pearl.’
I realize after the text convo that I didn’t even ask about how Eden’s doing.
Some father you are.
I text Pearl: ‘I haven’t seen him. Have you?’
‘No,’ she answers.
‘He took the Prius, I think.’
‘I canceled the meeting just a minute ago. I acted as if I’d heard from PL and he wanted the night off to process. Now I’m worried that if something happens, they’ll know I was lying and he really bolted.’
‘Fuck, I’m sorry, Pearl.’
‘Did you guys have a fight?’
I grit my teeth. ‘He was just upset. I wouldn’t say we fought.’
‘I’m really sorry, Vance. I’ll let you know if I hear from him.’
I hate asking the next question, but I have to. ‘Do you think I should be worried? You know…like for mental health reasons?’
‘I can’t imagine. Not with you and Baby. I think he was shocked by how it went.’
‘Me too.’
‘Sending lots of hugs your way, Vance. You’re the best thing in his life. He’s going to be okay.’
My chest aches so damn much after I slide the phone into my pocket. Fuck, this feels so fucking awful.
I can’t let myself go back to thoughts like: He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want to talk to me. This is not about me. Like…it’s really not. It’s about Sky, and what he wants and needs. And how to make him feel okay. Like he’s not so rejected and displaced and…fucking lost.