“Why did you want the art?” I ask…Raymond.
“To admire it. I feel pride when I look at it. Pride and inspiration. At what you became. You made yourself without a father. My fault.” His eyes well. “But maybe I could be a friend, at least. I can be a good friend. Even if I was a crummy father.”
“You’re not dead yet,” Sky says. “Maybe you could try to be both.”
I laugh—unexpected. “Luke.”
“Don’t be embarrassed, Rayne. It’s my job to protect you.”
“You’re a good protector yourself,” my father says. To me.
“I’m going to pour a drink.” I just can’t handle being in the living room. I pour some of the open merlot while Miller hooks cupcake up with a bottle.
“Fuck,” I breathe.
“You all right?”
I nod. I look down at the floor—and realize why he does it. Sometimes it’s just too hard to be anywhere but in your own emotions.
“I guess you weren’t kidding,” he says. “You don’t know him?”
“No,” I whisper. I laugh. “But I think that might be changing.”
31
Luke
Poor Rayne. He’s exhausted by the time his father finally leaves. I can tell he’s in a state of shock. He barely drank that merlot he poured himself, and he looks like he’s in a daze. As soon as the front door shuts, I lead him back toward our bedroom.
“What about the baby? And the big kid?” he asks me.
“After this incident, I don’t think Steven will take his eyes off the people who remain in the house. He won’t let Miller hurt Eden.”
“Who said Miller would hurt her? I was meaning what if they need help.”
“They let eighth graders work in the church nursery. I think the guy’s got it covered.”
“I want her.”
That surprises me a little.
“You don’t want to rest?”
“I want to hold her.”
I nod. “I’ll go get her.”
“I can go, too,” Rayne says.
We find Miller in an arm chair in the living room, his body covered with a blanket, and the baby’s wrapped in it—but just her lower body. He’s got pillows propped under his arm so if she moves, it won’t be far.
“Hot damn,” Vance murmurs.
Guess we don’t have a monopoly on dad instincts.
I take a picture with my phone.
The kid’s eyelids lift open.
Rayne comes in close, running his hand over the baby’s small back. “Close your eyes,” he tells Miller.
The kid looks at him for a second, and then he does.
V and I sit on the couch. I hold out my arm, and he lies his head in my lap.
“That was weird,” he whispers—so soft I can hardly hear it.
“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?” I say. “You okay?”
He nods. “I think I am. It was weird but okay.”
Rayne just holds me for the longest time. Then I sit up more and lay myself partway atop him.
He moves mouth right by my ear and whispers, “I want to hear about Evermore and your day.”
The doorbell rings. Rayne sits up. His gaze flies to the clock up on the mantle.
“Ah, hell.” He gives me a sidelong look and pushes up off the couch, walking toward the front door like he knows who's waiting.
What fresh hell could this be?
With a glance at Miller, who's still sleeping with Edey tucked snugly against him, I follow Rayne into the foyer. Where I find him talking with...a woman wearing all black?
I frown, because she's smiling and V's rubbing his face, smiling through his hand as if they know each other well.
There's that gut-punch again. I swallow and step forward. The woman's eyes move to my face. "There he is.” She smiles. “The man himself. Or, now that I know your husband, I might say the other McDowell."
That makes me chuckle. Something about her face and how she says it, with so much appreciation for Vance.
"You've got that right. I'm just the other McDowell. Vance is the more important of the two of us." I wrap my arm around his lower back, pulling him against me because I crave the feel of him. His warmth and scent. The way he wraps his arm around me, too, and squeezes.
She smiles. "So V..." She waves, laughing.
"Oh, um. Right. So, Luke, this is Ollie. He’s from Netflix. And he wants to do a little...thing about us."
"Thing being a documentary," Ollie says, making an exaggerated nervous face.
"Ollie, still, right?" Vance asks.
"Yes. With you guys.” He smiles.
I think I understand. I give him a reassuring smile. "We can do that."
"Documentary or pronouns?" Ollie asks.
I chuckle. "Pronouns are a definite. Documentary is..." I suck in a breath and blow it out and give Rayne a look.
"How about I give you two a few?” Ollie asks. “I'll sit on the steps while you talk." And at that, he shuts the door and disappears.
"Fuck." Rayne rubs his face. "I forgot to mention. Ollie is the one who helped me and Eden get away from the burger place. But before that, I met him at the church. He had come to talk to you, but he found my atrium and ended up talking to me. Said he's working on another show right now but wanted to do something about us. Probably in the vein you think."