We spend some time talking about what Miller told Sky—and, later, before leaving, touched on with me.
“The world is still so fucked up for gay kids, and I fucking hate that,” I tell Luke.
“Our planning meetings for The Rainbow Initiative start next week.” He runs his hand over my hair and puts his arm around my shoulders. “Do you still want to be involved? Even though you’ll be back to sculpting after the shoulder heals up?”
“Yeah.” I take a big breath and blow it out. I look at Sky with wide eyes and arched brows. “I really do. Can you find something for me? Something I could do without some big, fancy degree or like…really any knowledge of religion.”
I laugh, feeling like maybe it’s not a good idea, and he says, “Yes. In fact, I already have a couple of ideas.”
I think about the things he mentioned as I rock Eden to sleep in our room. I could do one-on-one mentoring with kids in the outpatient mental health clinic that we hope to house on the Evermore campus. I could organize the art program for the kids who’re staying inpatient—either in transient housing, or in a special new inpatient mental health facility. Maybe one day when he’s older, Miller might even want to help out.
After Eden’s down, I find Sky in the living room. I’ve still got the kid on my brain.
“Maybe we could go watch him play during a game this fall,” I suggest.
“I would like that,” Sky says. “I’m going to call him once a week and talk. I told him to expect a lot of calls.”
“You think that person you linked him up with will help him?”
“Yeah. And I have someone assembling a database of people like that, so if it doesn’t, there’ll be other recs. Therapists who can help people around the country, for those who don’t need inpatient therapy or a place to stay…who just want to utilize our network of LGBTQ-friendly health providers. In the future, we’ll have a twenty-four-hour help line. Funding for transportation to our facility here. An ad campaign that focuses on the message that life gets better for these kids. The whole works.” Sky grins, looking like a damn peacock that’s ready to strut. “Ansley told me funds are pouring in like Evermore has never seen.”
I sit beside him on the couch. I wrap my arm around him. “All this is because you came out. Walked the whole way down the fucking aisle and got spit on and went through hell.”
“So did you.”
“We both did.”
“I did it for you.” He leans against me. “Without you, I don’t think I would have.”
“Well, you’re not without me.”
“I never want to be without you.” Sky kisses my mouth and throat, and soon he’s straddling my hips. After we’re both rock hard, he tosses a blanket in front of the fireplace.
We re-christen the spot where he used to lie alone when he’d stay home from work. Afterward, we sit on opposite sides of the couch, both our backs against the couch’s arms, our legs intermingling in the middle, and we draft our adoption announcement.
The moment we’re finished, Eden’s cry comes through the baby monitor. We both jump up.
“I’ve got it,” we say at the same time.
In the end, we go into our room together.
Sky gets Eden while I grab the bottle. I hold her, and he feeds her. She blinks at us both like we’re crazy. And we are. We really are about as crazy as they come. But mostly crazy for each other.
Luke
Rayne falls asleep with the baby. When I’m sure she’s solidly asleep and I’ve got the foot monitor snugly on her, I lift her gently from his arms and snuggle her into her little boxy bed. Then I cover Rayne’s legs with our soft sheets.
I walk quietly into the living room. Turn off the fireplace—Rayne’s obsession. I smile at that, and then I’m cheesing at the drafted press release on the coffee table.
I get water for Vance and myself and make another bottle for the baby. Before I leave the living room, I read the press release again. And then again.
I take a picture of it with my phone and send it on to Ollie—for the documentary, which he says he’s going to call Communion. I text a copy to my mother—just because.
‘Beautiful,’ she texts back. ‘I’m so grateful for this new branch of our family.’
I stand in the doorway of our bedroom for a long time, with my eyes closed. Feeling the air and being in the silence.
Present. Peaceful.
And it’s beautiful. We’re really beautiful.
We’re perfect.
Evermore United Church is pleased to announce the marriage of Pastor Luke McDowell and Mr. Emerson Vance Rayne McDowell, of Brooklyn, New York.
The former Mr. Rayne is an accomplished artist who lived in Chelsea before relocating to the Bay. His oil paintings and his grand-scale murals, as well as his marble sculptures, are highly sought-after.