Victor - Her Ruthless Husband (Ruthless Triad 3)

That will go away soon, I promise the little ball inside my belly. Especially after you come.

At least I hope it will.

Anyway, I shut my eyes against the sadness and force myself to fall asleep.

I wake up the next morning to the sound of the iPhone I bought with my own big career girl money. It’s buzzing on the nightstand where I left it charging.

It's so crazy how often it does that these days—another part of adulting. People are always calling to talk about adult things.

And would you look at that? It's my realtor. She’s probably found another house for me to look at and wants to set up an appointment for Monday as soon as I’m back.

Awesome. Byron’s right. I don’t know why I’m dragging my feet on this. It’s time to woman up and get serious about this house search.

“Hey, Alana,” I say cheerfully after picking up.

But Alana doesn’t match my tone. “Dawn, we need to talk…”

19

“I can't believe your realtor dumped you!” Lena exclaims later that morning over brunch after she gets into New York from Boston, courtesy of her husband’s private jet membership.

“I know, right?” I answer with a good-natured laugh. “The first time I get dumped, and it’s by my real estate agent. Although she definitely made it clear it wasn't her, it was me…and the twenty-six houses that she showed me without me displaying nearly enough interest.”

I’m joking, but the amusement fades from Lena's expression.

“Don't!” I warn, already knowing what’s coming. “Don't read into this. It’s just a funny story.”

“Mm-hmm,” Lena answers, raising her coffee cup to take a sip. “I'm just wondering if you're curious about your reluctance to choose a house. It sounds like you’re literally having trouble moving on.”

“Nothing has felt right, that’s all,” I answer defensively. “When I find the house that feels right, I'll buy it.”

Lena nods agreeably enough. But then, after another sip of coffee, she asks, “So you don't think this has anything to do with missing your ex, whose secret baby you're currently carrying?”

I nearly spit out my decaf coffee at her super-specific question. “Lena… God… No. I wanted out of that situation. I'm truly glad to be free. My life is so much better without Victor in it. This baby's life will be so much better without him in it.”

Lena puts her coffee cup down in its saucer. “Dawn, I'm saying this, not as a therapist, but as someone who's actually been where you are. I told myself the same thing with Keane. But at the end of the day, it wasn't simply because I thought my life would be better without him in it. It was because I didn't want to face the feelings that I still had for him. So I settled for my first husband when I still had unresolved feelings for my ex-boyfriend. You know, the one I pretty much ran away from because I didn't know how to handle how intense we were.”

“This isn’t the same,” I insist. “You and Keane had a couple of bad meet-ups. Victor and I were toxic for ten years.”

“I’m not suggesting you go back to him,” Lena says quickly. “I honestly don’t know if Keane and I would have worked out if we’d gotten back together just because we had a baby on the way. We both had a lot of growing up to do. But I’ll never forgive myself for cutting him out of Max’s life for as long as I did. Have you considered asking your lawyer friend to help you navigate a custody arrangement with Victor?”

“No, I haven’t,” I answer, my tone growing even more defensive than when we were talking about houses. “If Victor knows I'm pregnant with his baby, he'll just use it as leverage to control me. Everything is leverage to control me. Because he’s a monster.”

“But he’s a monster because he’s angry,” Lena edits gently. “About what your father did and the loss he suffered because of it.”

Strange, I’ve been low-key hating Victor for so long, I haven’t considered that part of the story—not since he told me that his father was dead in the back of the Bentley, right before he fake married me.

“Well, yes, he’s angry because of that,” I concede, giving Lena that. “At least he was…”

“So he's not angry anymore?” Lena asks.

“I mean, he doesn’t act angry about it anymore. He says he wants me to forgive him for everything he did and that he regrets it. But I'm just supposed to believe that?”

“Is there a reason you wouldn't believe that?” Lena counters.

“He was addicted to punishing me for ten years. If he finds out about this baby…”

Lena reaches across the table, her eyes full of empathy and understanding. “You’re afraid. And that fear is valid, considering everything you’ve been through. But being a new mother is tough enough. If your friend Amber can work out some kind of reasonable custody arrangement with him, maybe you won’t have to be so scared anymore.”