My heart sinks.
However, instead of telling me he has to sleep, he locks the door before signing, “Which side of the bed do you want?”
So we get into bed. Together.
Oh God, oh God, what am I doing?
His large bed is even more comfortable than the one in the guest room. But I can't settle.
For the same reason, I can never settle when I’m in the same vicinity with him. That's one thing that hasn't changed. My body still doesn’t know how to read a room. And now there’s also a ton of weird pregnancy hormones flowing through it. As soon as I lie down, it enflames with all the desire that’s ever been desired. Crap….
I squirm and fidget. And when I turn over, I find Victor staring back at me.
Luckily, the fire is still going. There's enough light for me to see him sign, “Do you need help?”
“What kind of help?”
He doesn't answer. But he doesn't have to. The dark set of his eyes say everything I need to know.
For a moment, I can't tell whether the crackling sound in the room is coming from the fire or the tension between us. Either way, I surprise myself by saying, “Okay, yes. Help me, please.”
He makes the sign for turnover.
I awkwardly do so, shifting my baby bump to the other side.
I should've gotten that glass of water. My throat is so dry.
And it becomes even drier when he touches me, and I gasp.
I knew what was coming. I agreed to it. But it's so much more intense than I was expecting.
My body…it's not just primed to want to be with him when we are lying in the same bed as it was before. It's so much more sensitive than it used to be now that I’m pregnant.
Maybe he senses this. He doesn't knead my breasts like he usually does. Instead, he cups them gently, soothing one ache while creating another one.
Before this night, I had no idea that breasts could be so sensitive. All he does is massage them for a few minutes, but soon I'm writhing under his touch and dripping below.
“Victor…” I whisper.
He knows what I want. He slides one hand away from my breasts and down under my baby bump.
A low moan escapes from my mouth when his hand finds my pussy. This part of me is more sensitive than I remember too. Ready… I’m so ready. I swear I start coming with just a few rubs.
It starts as a tremble, but soon I'm helplessly quaking as the climax overtakes me.
Victor pulls me to his chest and holds me close as I shatter. He makes soothing sounds in my ear, and I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I don't completely fall apart and lose my mind entirely.
“Thank you,” I whisper when the pleasure finally subsides enough to let me calm down and speak again.
He just releases me and moves back to his side of the bed.
What he did for me was so hot and amazing. But I immediately feel cold without his arms. As if that cozy and warm fire is only a picture on a television screen.
So I flip over and swallow down my shyness to ask, “Can I help you too?”
Victor stills.
But then he simply signs, “No, thank you.”
He's finally learned to add thank you to his nos. But disappointment fills my stomach like sludge being poured into a pit.
And I find myself in a weird position of saying, “You said this relationship could be anything I want. How about if I want to please you too?”
His eyes flash, and a little bit of the new politeness falls away from his expression. “Thank you, but I've made a vow to myself that the next time I come, it will be inside of you.”
Did I think my throat was dry before? It's the Sahara desert now.
“Why would you do that?” I ask, nearly croaking. “That's crazy. I’ll be gone at the end of the week. And the only time we’ll see each other after that is for custody agreement handoffs.”
He seems to consider my words seriously, and I expect him to change his mind. But then he says, “In that case, I suppose I will die an unsatisfied man.”
“He said what now?” Amber asks the next day after I call her—ostensibly to talk about the custody agreement paperwork, but really, to process that WTH moment. “That’s crazy!”
“I know, right?” I nearly shout back, so glad she agrees with me.
But then she adds, “And weirdly romantic. Or is it just me? I mean, my origin story with Luca is seriously messed up, so I never know how to judge other people’s situations.”
“No, it’s not just you,” I admit with a groan. “That's why I'm thinking you might have to put a rush on the paperwork. I'm still not sure why I went to his room last night. And I don't think I can trust myself to make good decisions when he says things like that. So I kind of need him to lose his mind and turn into a monster again when I tell him I want full custody.”