My gaze immediately goes to Blue, who is looking a million times more upset than Jansen. He’s staring straight at Meadow, and she’s very carefully not looking at him.
Oh shit.
“Oh yeah,” Teresa says, but she doesn’t look embarrassed. I’m not sure I’d be surprised if she stripped naked.
“I’m sorry, everyone, but I’m sure Teresa explained that we have a strict visitation policy. I’m going to have to ask everyone to leave but two people,” another nurse comes in and announces.
To prove she has no shame, Teresa reaches up and kisses Parker on the cheek and scurries out of the room.
“But I want to see my family. I could actually use a good sponge bath. Titan dear, you’re probably the strongest here, and I have put on a few pounds,” Mom says with a sly grin, making me cringe and want to sock her one, all at the same time.
“Ida Sue!” Faith laughs.
“What? Surely you don’t begrudge a poor, old woman something to help her heal quicker,” Mom rationalizes.
“Good Lord,” I mutter, and I’m pretty sure the rest of my family joins in.
“Maggie and I can stay if everyone else wants to go. We have a sitter for Terry, and we can stay until Jansen gets whatever he needs done and comes back,” Bryant suggests, interrupting the ridiculousness.
I don’t get the chance to agree because Jansen does something that I’ve never seen him do in all my years of knowing him.
“Everyone out,” he growls, and I swear in that moment the room goes completely silent.
“Jan—”
“Don’t you Jan me, woman. I’ve been pushed to my limit. Do you know how long I stayed downstairs wondering if you were alive or dead?”
“What? I don’t understand—” Mom gasps.
“They wouldn’t tell me a damn thing. They wouldn’t let me see you. We’re not married and I’m not family. I was stuck here for a fucking hour waiting on one of the kids to show up so they could get me inside your damn room.”
“Jan…” Mom whispers.
“Couldn’t you have lied? Told them you were common law married? Something?” Blue snaps, sounding almost as angry as Jansen.
“You’d think that. But Ida Sue or whoever was with her at the time of admission wrote down she was fucking single.”
“Oh shit…” I murmur, and Bryant hugs me closer. Jansen rarely curses. When he does, you know that it is bad—as in really bad.
“Jan, I just gave them my license. I didn’t think,” Mom responds, sounding miserable.
“I’ve had enough, Lovey,” he responds, his voice almost cold. “You think I’m going to sit here and pretend to be okay with this shit while the woman I love laughs it all off after I’ve been through hell—”
“Jan, I didn’t know—”
“Not to mention that I’ve had to listen to you ask another man to bathe you. If you think I am going to keep quiet about any of this, then you’re fucking crazy, woman.”
“I was kidding! You know that!” Mom says, getting angry herself.
“All I know is that you either agree to marry me, finally, or I’m gone,” Jansen growls. “I get you’ve got irrational shit tangled up in your head about fate striking you down and showing you who is in charge if you’re too happy, but that’s horse shit.”
I wince because I know that feeling. I had it with Bryant.
Shit, I really am my mother.
“This isn’t how you propose to a woman, Jansen Reed! And it’s not irrational! Fate is cruel.”
“It’s how I propose to my woman considering I’ve proposed to her a million times, and she always finds a reason to say no.”
“I want to see my children happy first, Jan. It’s the natural order of things,” she whispers.
“Bullshit. Your reasoning is all screwed up in that beautiful head of yours, woman, and I’m tired of it. You keep saying you’re afraid if we’re too happy, fate will do something to bring us back down, but fuck honey, I’ve been the happiest man God ever put on this earth for a lot of years now and every single reason that’s true has to do with you and our kids.”
“Jan—”
“And by God, they are my kids after all of these years.”
His proclamation makes me smile and feel loved all at the same time. I’ve always known that Jansen loved all of us, but it’s still really good to hear.
“We are,” all of us answer at the same time. Jansen stops talking and rubs his jaw a little too hard, making eye contact with all of and giving us a nod.
“Are you going to tell me you don’t feel the same, Lovey?” he says when he clears his throat.
“I can’t. I love you, you stupid cowboy,” she sighs, tears beginning to fall. I feel the same tears in my eyes.
“And you’re going to marry me,” Jansen says, and this time it’s not a question.