“What about a burrito then?”
“No.”
“Fajitas?”
“No.”
“Empanadas?”
“You’re just naming a bunch of foods now! No! No, no, no. I’m not telling you. We are never having that discussion.”
“So, there is a reason—a reason you’re not going to tell me, a reason other than we just wouldn’t have worked out. I knew there was. You’ll tell me one day when you’re ready.”
Rea pales. She doesn’t like that I trapped her. She walked right into it, even though I really wasn’t trying to go there.
“I just…you only…I’m not making sense because my head is all mushy due to ovary hormones.”
“Ovary hormones? I didn’t know that was a thing.”
“It is! It makes a person’s brain function at ten percent capacity.”
“Ten percent is what people normally use.”
“Well, ten percent of that percentage!” Rea crosses her arms and glowers at me. “Are you going to have a shower, or are you going?”
“I think I’ll skip it tonight.”
“Good. I’ll clean up. Have a great night. And if you decide to leave Amarillo for good, that would be great.” Her heart isn’t in the insult, I can tell.
I clear out of the kitchen to leave her with her thoughts. The evening is as warm and oppressive as the heat has been ever since I got here. Amarillo never seems to cool down. I make a mental note to get the air up and running in my house as soon as possible. I’m tired of sweating it out. The pool is going to be a while yet, so I can’t count on that, and the fan I bought for my room hardly cuts it.
I’ve ordered pretty much everything else, and I’ll meet with a contractor and the crews soon. The house will start to come together, slowly but surely. Who knows, I might just think about staying for good. Though it really depends on Rea and what she isn’t telling me. I’m more confused than ever. Why the secrecy? If there was something, why wouldn’t she have just told me? The one thing I’m not confused about? How much I want a fresh start with Rea. If she won’t talk to me and isn’t open to it, though, I don’t know what I’m going to do, other than probably lose my mind and die of ball-hanging by a blue ball noose.
I just can’t believe in #nohopeforhumanity. That would mean there isn’t any hope for Rea and me, and I desperately want there to be. Maybe one day—hopefully sooner rather than later—Rea will talk to me. She will tell me what happened, and I’ll fix whatever it is, and we’ll have that fresh start. A restart, whatever it is. We’ll make it happen, and we’ll make it work. We’ll just make it.
I glance over my shoulder as I’m about to open the front door. The blinds at Rea’s side window are open. I didn’t even think about it when I put her on the counter, but it’s a lucky thing that particular area isn’t visible from the window. Right now, I see Rea kneeling on one of the chairs, reaching up.
I grin probably the widest grin of my life when I see her snatch her missing panties off the light fixture above the table.
Oh, there’s hope, alright—lots and lots of it.
CHAPTER 15
Rea
I know this is a token question, but what in the name of all that is holy, and even all that isn’t, is wrong with me? I’m supposed to be steadfastly against having anything to do with Kayden, not having him come over and cook up tacos. Or cook up something with my taco.
I need some emergency advice. I know it’s getting late, and also that Sadie is going to have a hay day with this, but I have to call.
“Oh, thank god,” is the first thing that pops out of my mouth when I hear Sadie’s voice.
“That bad, huh?”
“I…yes. I think so.”
“What happened?”
“Kayden,” I huff. “Kayden happened. Does that even need an explanation?”
Sadie breathes into the phone for a few long seconds. “I guess it kind of does. How bad are we talking on a scale of one to ten? Ten being like Kayden gives you some kind of brain-altering chemical and whisks you away to get married, but then the chemical wears off, and he’s somehow chained you to him for life so you can never leave because if you do want to leave, he’ll keep giving you the brain-altering serum, which essentially means you’re trapped with him forever?”
“You write waaaaaay too many books.”
“I’m just saying. It could happen.”
I’m sitting on my bed with my back propped up against the headboard, and I can’t help the smile that keeps tugging my lips up. Sadie always knows how to cheer me up, even when she doesn’t even know what’s actually wrong.
“In that scenario, would I still have my regular brain, but I just can’t think unhappy thoughts about Kayden?”