Bang Gang

His expression hardened. “I’m doing this for the fucking girls, Jo.”

“Jesus, Darren,” I snapped. “How the fuck can you be doing this for the fucking girls?”

I met his eyes, but he’d closed up again. His expression was hard and disengaged. “Forget it. I’ll sort it.”

“Forget it?!”

“Yeah,” he snapped back. “Forget it.”

I stared aghast. Just aghast. “You’re really fucking for money, aren’t you?”

He shrugged. “Way I see it, people need plenty of things. If I can give them what they want and charge them a fair price, I’ll do it. This is no different, Jo, it’s just a fucking gig, same as the others.” He gestured at the cars around us. “Just like the motors, only I use a different fucking tool.”

I shook my head. “I can’t believe this… I just can’t…”

He lit up another cigarette. “I’ve been keeping it away from here.”

“By fucking that big-mouth Mandy Taylor?!”

“That was Buck,” he said. “Likes her. Said she was sound.”

“And now it’s out! It’s every-fucking-where! I have to face everyone in the village, and I will. But what about the girls?! What the hell do I tell them?!”

“Nothing,” he said. “Tell them nothing, Jo.” He scowled. “It’ll blow over. Gossip will be chip paper next week.”

I laughed a snarky laugh. “Sure it will.” I shrugged. “Just like the broken washing machine will blow over, and Ruby’s swearing, and every other thing that goes belly up around me.” I had the most horrible, pitiful urge to cry, so I walked away. “It’ll all just blow over, right, Darren? I’ll just keep waiting, shall I? Pick Ruby up from school and pretend her dad isn’t fucking half the locals?”

“I’m not fucking half the locals,” he said.

“You think that’s what they’ll tell our girls?! Your dad isn’t fucking half the locals, just a few?!”

“They can tell them what they fucking like, it’s not true.”

My phone bleeped in my pocket. I considered leaving it alone, but I never can. In case it’s Nanna, or the school, or my parents from the coast whenever they get a quiet few minutes. It was Lorraine, my boss.

Can you cover Emma for a few hours this afternoon? You’d be a lifesaver.

I’m always a lifesaver, always running around after everyone else. And I’d had fucking enough of it.

“You can pick Ruby up, then,” I said. “See how you like dealing with it.”

He nodded, didn’t flinch. “Fine. I’ll pick her up.”

“Half three,” I said. “Don’t be late.”

“I never fucking am,” he snapped.

“Good,” I snapped back. “At least I can count on you for something.”

I didn’t give him another glance.

I busted a fucking nut to get those cars done. Didn’t even eat the sandwiches Petey came back from the shop with. We all worked hard, all knuckled down — even Hugh and Jimmy O — and at twenty-nine minutes past three I had my foot down in the truck as I sped across the village to get my little girl. The thought of her spouting cunt around the place shouldn’t make me laugh, but it did. It really fucking did. Ruby’s so pissing funny, you can’t help yourself.

I didn’t bother with the car park, just mounted the verge and pulled the truck to a stop. I could see the curtains twitching, people stopping midway about their village business to stop and gawk at me.

There he is. Trent. The gigolo. The whore.

The fucking dick.

Like I give a fuck what they think.

I don’t know how Jodie manages to smile through this same old village playground shit every day of her life. The place was humming with people judging each other behind their fake-assed smiles, squawking on about what’s what around here. They were all gossiping, all moaning about some shit or another, but every set of eyes in that school yard were on me. I kept my cool, lighting up a cigarette as I stood at the gate, right at the edge of the no smoking zone.

The snooty mum brigade always hated that, but there was a bit of a sizzle through them today. Their lingering glares in my direction were laced with something else.

It made me crack a grin to myself.

For all their whining and fucking moaning they all wanted a piece of Mandy Taylor’s action. They’d be condemning with one hand while rubbing one off with the other, that’s the way of the fucking world.

I’d just finished up my cigarette when Ruby’s classroom door opened and kids came pouring out. She was one of the last, yapping on to Miss Davies, in a world of her own as she trailed her school bag after her. Her hair was a tangle, her freckles glowing in the afternoon sun, her toothy grin hitting me in the gut and making me so fucking proud.

When it was just Jodie and me, when things were good, I loved her more than I’d ever loved anything in the world. As much as it’s possible to love anyone, that’s what I thought. I’d have walked through fire for her, thrown myself under a truck for her, clawed through Hell just to make her happy.