Bang Gang

He shook his head. “It’s got nothing to do with being fuckable, Jodie. That’s what you fucking mean, isn’t it? Like we pick out the fucking hot ones. Like there’s some fucking merit system, nice fucking tits, let’s give her a go. We don’t give a fuck about that. I don’t give a fuck about that.”

“Then what?” I felt the beginnings of anger. “What has it got to do with?”

He stubbed out his cigarette. “Just no.”

The little plume of anger was blooming, shooting right up my spine. “Just no?!”

“Just no!” he snapped, and turned tail. “I’m not booking you in for a fucking gangbang, end of fucking story.”

I folded my arms. “But you will book Mandy Taylor in for one? What’s so special about Mandy fucking Taylor, Trent? Why can she pay for a good fucking time but I can’t? My money’s as good as hers!”

He stopped in his tracks, and he was simmering, absolutely seething. I knew this look well. We’d argued like this more times than I cared to remember, when things were going tits up all around us and we couldn’t agree on any-fucking-thing anymore. “What money?” he said. “How do you think you’re going to pay for this shit, Jo? It’s not like a bastard TV subscription, we’re talking hundreds of fucking pounds, you saw that fucking box of mine.”

I felt my resolve faltering. I couldn’t even say the words, and he knew, he fucking knew.

I think I preferred his angry face to this one. This one was horrible. Shock, disappointment. Maybe a bit of disgust. He had some fucking cheek, but I didn’t feel that, I just felt the shame.

“Don’t say it, don’t even fucking think it,” he said. “That’s not for this. He wouldn’t have wanted this. Fucking hell, Jo, what the fuck?”

“He would have wanted me to live, Darren. How I choose to live is up to me.”

“Fine, live. But I won’t be a fucking part of this shit. You won’t be getting your kicks here.”

Be damned if I was going to back down now. I willed myself to stay calm, to stay cool, to stay anything but the embarrassed little Jodie whose confidence was taking a battering when it was just getting started. “And you speak for everyone, do you?”

He stared right at me. “Yes. I fucking do.”

I took a step forward, cleared my throat. “How about it, guys?” I shouted. “If it’s good enough for Mandy, how about letting me have a go? I can pay!”

I waited. And waited. My eyes wandered from face to face, and yet none of them would meet my stare. They were all looking at Trent, every single one of them.

I smiled a bitter smile, mainly to hide my upset. “Oh, I get it,” I said. “It’s like that.” I turned back to Darren. “You really are the head honcho. Guess it feels good to be the big I am, casting judgement on who’s good enough to have a go.”

“It’s not like that,” he said, but he was still angry, and so was I.

“Fine,” I said, and I was already on my way back to the car. “I’ll find some other guys who’ll give me a good time. You can’t be the only fucking gigolos around. The internet’s a fucking wonderful thing.”

I slammed the car door behind me, and got the hell out of there.

I got back to the Land Rover on the ramp, launching a kick at pile of tyres as I went. Fucking hell. Just what the fucking hell?

My temples were pounding, jaw so tight I had an annoying twitch flickering away. My anger was low and hard, bubbling under the surface like a fucking volcano about to blow.

The guys left me well alone for an hour or so, and it was Buck who brought me a cup of tea over. I guess Petey was too fucking scared.

“Wanna talk about it?” he said, propping himself against the rig.

“No,” I snapped. “Not fucking really.”

Buck didn’t give a shit. “That was well fucking off, mate. She had a point.”

“And what fucking point would that be?”

He shrugged. “We’re normally not so fucking picky. She knows it. We know it. She wants a go and why shouldn’t she? Everyone else in this poxy village is after some.”

“She’s different.”

He nodded. “Alright, but how so? You’ve been split a long fucking time, mate.”

“She just is,” I barked. “Leave it, Buck. Just fucking leave it.”

He slapped a hand on my shoulder before he left me to it. “I think you’re making a mistake. You ain’t gonna want to hear this shit, but I’m going to say it anyway. I’ve known Jodie a long time, we all have. You tore her a new asshole out there for wanting what everyone else wants, for wanting to live a fucking fantasy. And why shouldn’t she? Why the fuck shouldn’t she, Trent? We’ve taken enough money from women in her shoes, why not offer her the same fucking courtesy?”