“Anything to do with Darren Trent is playing with fire. The guy’s explosive.”
“Hot-headed.”
“Pig-headed.”
I smiled. “Short-tempered. Blunt.”
“And you’re totally in love with him.”
My eyes flew wide. “What?”
She shook her head. “Jesus Christ, Jodie. How long have I known you? You can try this denial crap with yourself all you want, but it isn’t gonna wash with me.”
“That’s not what this is,” I said, but my tummy was tickling. “Not for me, and certainly not for him. He fucks for money, Tonya. This was a job.”
“You’re delusional.”
“No,” I said. “I’m not. This thing is… was… sex. Just sex.”
“Just sex?”
“Just sex.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.” I grinned all over again. “Good sex. Great sex. Amazing, mind-blowing, crazy, dirty sex.”
I grabbed her hands under the covers, squeezed hard, and we were teenagers again, sleeping over and drinking too much wine.
“So, when are you booking back in?” she asked. “Don’t even try and pretend it was a one-off.”
My heart was pounding at the thought. I had thought about it, too. Couldn’t keep my mind off it all the way home.
“I can’t,” I said. “I can’t blow Pop’s money on getting laid, no matter how incredible it was.”
“Like hell you can’t.”
“No,” I said. “I can’t. I just can’t. I’m four hundred down and an experience of a lifetime up. It’s done, that’s me out.”
“And Trent? What about Trent?”
I shrugged. “I guess that’s done, too. Why wouldn’t it be?” I heard footsteps on the landing, the familiar sound of a half-asleep Ruby clomping her way down the stairs. The TV sounded up through the floor.
“I can get up with the girls,” Tonya said. “You get yourself some sleep.”
I shook my head. “You’ve done enough. Time to put my mum hat back on and get with the schedule.” I slipped my legs out of the covers, hissed out breath as I got to my feet. “There’ll be more milk on the kitchen floor than there will be on her cereals if I don’t get my ass downstairs.”
Tonya sat up in bed, stretched her arms with a groan. “Fuck cereals,” she said. “Let’s go get a proper breakfast, you can sit on the other side of the counter for once.”
The rumble in my stomach answered for me.
Lorraine took our order with a smile. Four full English breakfasts coming up.
“How come Mia gets a grown-up breakfast?” Ruby moaned.
“Because Mia’s a lot bigger than you are, even if her mouth is smaller.” I ruffled her hair.
“A young woman now,” Tonya said. “Practically a teenager.”
Mia smiled an Autumn Berry smile. A full face of makeup courtesy of my new cosmetics stash and Tonya’s makeover skills. She looked so much older with a bit of eyeshadow, my little girl growing up so fast. A felt a pang of sadness. It only seemed five minutes ago she was a little tot starting primary school.
“Why didn’t Nanna come?” Ruby said. I took the salt shaker from her fiddling fingers before she tipped it everywhere.
“Because Nanna says fried food gives her wind.”
Ruby pulled a face. “Nanna’s farts stink like eggs.”
“Your farts stink like eggs,” Mia said. “Rotten ones.”
“Do not!”
“They so do.”
“I don’t even fart!” Ruby protested.
“You’re always farting! Stinky bum! Nanna’s bum’s got nothing on yours!”
“Shut your face, Mia-stink-a-lot!”
Mia’s expression changed in a heartbeat, her smile shrivelling to nothing. Her shoulders slumped, her eyes down. I felt it right in the pit of my stomach.
“Ruby!” I snapped. “That’s enough. Apologise to your sister.”
“Sorry,” Ruby mumbled. “It’s true, though! They do call her Mia-stink-a-lot!”
“And they are stupid little twerps who should know better, Ruby. You should know better.”
“Sorry,” she said again, and this time she meant it.
Mia shrugged but didn’t smile. I could feel her sadness in my heart.
“Mia…” I began, but the first of the plates arrived. I grabbed a knife and fork, cut up Ruby’s sausage before she sent bits flying in all directions.
Tonya put a hand on Mia’s shoulder. “Don’t listen to idiots, Mia. There are plenty of them around. You’re beautiful, and you smell lovely.” She dipped her bread in her egg.
“It’s Tyler Dean and his stupid friends,” Mia said. “He’s a moron.”
“I think Tyler Dean should watch his mouth,” Tonya said. “He’ll regret ever opening it if your dad finds out.”
Mia’s eyes widened for just a moment. She spooned up some baked beans and didn’t say another word.
Ruby was grinning as she speared a piece of sausage. “Dad would punch Tyler Dean right in his stupid mouth! Pow, pow, pow!”
“Your father won’t be punching anyone in the mouth,” I said. I shot Tonya a look.
She took my cue. “Oh no,” she said. “Your dad isn’t gonna be punching anyone, Ruby.”
Ruby actually looked disappointed. I worry about her sometimes.
“I wish he would,” Mia said, and it was so out of character I dropped my cutlery. She caught my expression and tried to laugh off her comment, but it was too late. So much for the it’s no big deal, Mum line she’d been giving me for weeks.