Bang Gang

Tonya leaned in when Lorraine nipped off to the toilets. “I don’t like it,” she said. “There’s something off with her.”

I shook my head. “She’s just looking out for me, that’s all. She only got one side of it when I split up with Darren, she hardly knows him.” I squeezed her arm. “She’s just on team Jodie.”

“I’m just on team Jodie,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean I think Trent’s a total fucking tool.”

“You know Darren,” I said. “She doesn’t.”

“Not convinced,” Tonya said. “I think she’s acting sketchy, there’s something about her I don’t like.”

“You don’t like anyone,” I laughed. “You think everyone’s got an agenda.”

She winked. “Everyone has got an agenda, I just like to know what it is before I decide I want to bosom buddy it up with them. Lorraine’s cagey with hers. We don’t know shit about her, not even after all these years.”

I scoffed. “I do.”

She shrugged. “Do you? About her home life? Has she had a boyfriend? Got a boyfriend? Wants a boyfriend? Why did she get divorced? What’s she been doing since? Do you know any of this stuff?”

“She sees people,” I said. “Just casual. She doesn’t really talk about it.”

“Exactly,” she said. “Cagey.”

“Dating websites probably. She’s probably embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed or cagey,” she said.

I rolled my eyes. “You liked Lorraine last week. You invited her out.”

“She invited us out.” She did a twirl. “And she hadn’t launched an anti-Trent offensive off the cuff back then. Hadn’t said his kids would be better off rid of him.”

I groaned. “She just doesn’t like him, Tonya.”

“She doesn’t know him, like you said.”

“Seems I don’t either. I had no idea he was whoring himself out to the whole village, Tonya. How do you expect her to feel after that revelation?”

She shrugged. “Still, I think there’s something off with her.”

I kissed her cheek. “I love you, Tonya, I love how loyal you are, even to those people you half-think are douches.”

“He’s a good dad,” she said. “And he thinks a lot of you, too.”

I wish I was as convinced as she was.

I downed a glass of Bacardi and Coke and disappeared further into the crowd.

Fuck Darren Trent, tonight was all about the music.

Alright, so dancing wasn’t as easy as I remembered. I managed less than an hour before my feet were blistered and killing me. Bloody heels.

We sat in a booth, a fresh bottle of white in an ice bucket on our table, wetting ourselves as Lorraine recounted her weirdest ever customer stories. These always made me laugh, but the drink made them all the funnier.

I was giggling like an idiot when I felt my handbag vibrate. I pulled my phone out in a flash, hoping beyond hope it wasn’t Nanna.

It wasn’t, it was Darren.

My heart did a weird jump.

You alright? Club good?

I smiled. This was as conversational as it ever got from Darren.

Alright, thanks. Girls ok?

I held my phone under the table and turned my attention back to the conversation. They were both laughing too hard to notice. It vibrated again.

Girls are asleep. Just be careful out there.

I smiled. Be careful? I’m alright, Darren. I have Tonya and Lorraine with me.

I pressed send and took another swig of wine. Lorraine was well away, into the one with the woman who claimed one of the waiters had put poop in her stew.

Another message.

Just be careful. Don’t go home with any assholes, Jo.

I fired off a response. I wasn’t planning on it.

Another buzz. I’m sure you’ll be taking your pick. Just make sure it’s a good one.

I stared at the phone, wishing I could ask the Tonya and Lorraine what they thought. I couldn’t. They’d probably come to blows.

My reply took some typing with clumsy fingers. You’re telling me to go fuck a stranger, but just make sure they’re nice? Shall I get a copy of their current CV, take some references?

I waited for it. No. That’s not it. Forget it.

I’d pissed him off. The wine made me giggle. Sorry. I’m being silly. Wine.

Have fun, he replied.

My fingers kept typing. I’m not going to be fucking any strangers, Darren. I’m not going to be going home with anyone.

Your business, he said. Just be careful.

I was flummoxed. Why bring it up then?

It took a few minutes to get a reply to that one. Just bothered.

Bothered I might fuck someone or bothered they might be an asshole? Shit. I can’t believe I actually sent that.

I tried to focus on the conversation. Tonya was talking fish and chip shop horror stories now.

I could hardly bring myself to look at the next message. What do you think?

I don’t know what I think, I said.

A buzz almost straight back. Makes fucking two of us, Jo.

My heart was thumping. Wine made me brave. If I fucked another man tonight would it bother you? Yes or no?