“I’m not even joking,” I said. “You think I’m fucking joking, don’t you?”
Her smile turned into a laugh, that breathy giggle that comes when she’s relieved.
“See if I’m fucking joking when I get the vicar round next week.” I took a drag on my cigarette, and Jodie’s giggle caught me. A laugh caught in my throat, and I struggled to keep a straight face. She saw it. Saw the flash of a smile on my face, and it set her off. She laughed so hard she fell back with her hands on her belly and I laughed, too.
“Stop it,” I attempted, but it was pointless, I was on one myself, just the same as her.
“I’m sorry…”
“You’re fucking not,” I laughed.
She rolled on the sleeping bag, letting it all out, tension broken. I felt it too. That relief. That blissful fucking relief like a dam breaking.
The laughter eased off slowly, really fucking slowly, and it left something else in its place, a heaviness in the air, her eyes wide as she looked up at me, her pupils like big black pools.
“Thank you,” she said. “I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t been there.”
My chest pained. “It’s alright, Jo. I was there.”
She sighed. “But you’re not… we’re not…” She reached out for my hand, the swollen one. I flicked my cigarette through the door before she took it. She ran a thumb across my knuckles and it hurt like a bitch. I didn’t say anything. “You were wild, Darren. I’ve never seen you fly so hard.”
“They had our girl, Jo.”
She nodded. “I know…”
“Don’t try and tell me I shouldn’t have gone in like that. I’ll always go in like that if the girls need it, no matter what, Jo, whatever it takes. I’m not gonna say fucking sorry for it.”
She took a breath. “What makes you think I’d want you to?”
My hand was still in hers, her fingers were cold. “You don’t?”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t.” She pulled me towards her, ever so fucking slowly. “I love the way you love our girls, Darren. I love the way you look out for them. I love the way you’re there. I love how you’d do anything it took to keep them safe.” She paused. “Just like I would.”
“I love those fucking girls, Jodie. You know I do.”
And you. I fucking love you, too.
She nodded. “I know.”
I shifted towards her, shunted myself so I was propped on my side, my hand still in hers. “What’s going on here? We fucking talking or what? Where’s this all going?”
“I want to talk…” she said. “But I… I just need…”
“What?”
She pulled my arm around her and wriggled in to my side, and it felt so good. It felt really fucking good. “Hold me,” she said. “Please. Just for a minute.”
As if she needed to fucking ask. I squeezed her tight, pulled her close, her head in the crook of my shoulder, my breath in her hair. “It’s alright now, Jo. Everything’s alright.”
Her breathing slowed, fingers gliding up my arm and back again. Her leg shifted, hooked over mine.
Christ, it was the most natural fucking move in the world to pull her on top of me. Her legs fell so perfectly between mine, her tits to my chest, her face in my face. I brushed her hair back from her forehead and looked at her, really looked at her.
She looked absolutely fucking beautiful.
She smiled a shy smile. “What?”
“Just you,” I said.
“Just what about me?”
Just that I love you, Jodie. I’ve always fucking loved you.
I brushed her cheeks with my thumbs, then held her there, pulled her face to mine. She tasted of wine and smelled of the smoke from the barbeque outside. She squirmed against me as we kissed, and I slipped my hands down her back, grabbed hold of that pretty ass of hers and shunted her tight against my cock. She moaned, ever so quietly, grinding her hips as I pushed against her. I helped her out of her jacket, pulled her top off over her head, and she raised herself enough to strip me of mine.
Skin to skin, just a flimsy bra between her tits and my chest. I had her out of it in a beat, and the cold hardened her nipples, they felt like bullets against my thumbs.
She loosened her jeans and wriggled them down, her knickers with them, and she was naked, naked and fucking horny, guiding my fingers to her clit.
She straddled me, leaning back with her hands braced on my thighs. My thumb flicked at that tight little bud, and she rocked back and forth, her head tipped back as the sensations took her.
Her tits looked so fucking good in the lamplight, rippling as she moved, nipples dark and hard, just begging for my mouth.
I pinned her clit with my thumb and she moaned.