Bang Gang

“Like fuck I do,” I snapped. “Just piss off, all of you.”

“Come on, Trent,” Hugh said. “This isn’t doing any good now, is it? Drinking like this.”

I swigged back some more of my pint. “Feels pretty fucking good from where I’m sitting.”

Except it didn’t. It felt fucking shit.

I heard Jimmy O groan behind me. “Leave the daft shit then. Just because you blew it with your fucking missus, mate, doesn’t mean you have to take it out on the whole fucking village.”

I spun on my stool. “What the fuck did you say?”

Jimmy O had had a few himself, his eyes were bloodshot and he was swaying, full of mouth.

He leaned in. “I said, you’ve blown it with your fucking missus, mate, so get a fucking grip of yourself and stop the fucking moping, yeah?”

“Leave it,” Buck said. “Back off, Jimmy.”

He held up his hands. “Just saying the fucking truth of it. He blew it. Not my fucking fault, is it?”

“Have a bit of respect, Jimmy,” Hugh said. “Christ, man.”

Petey didn’t say a fucking word.

I glared at Jimmy. “Seem fucking pleased about it. Happy are you? Fancy a go on her yourself?”

Buck shook his head. “Leave it, guys,” he said. “Just fucking leave it. This is bullshit.”

Jimmy wouldn’t leave it, and I fucking knew he wouldn’t. He stood tall, put his glass down on the side. “One man’s loss is another man’s fucking gain, Trent. Stop being such a fucking prick about it and have a game of fucking darts, yeah?”

“Your gain, that what you’re fucking saying?” I stood up, slapped my own pint on the bar.

Buck’s hand was on my arm. “Easy, Trent, he’s just fucking drunk.”

Jimmy shrugged, laughed at me. “What if it was? She’s a nice girl, Jodie. I liked the way she felt on my fucking dick.” He stumbled forward a step, held up his fingers. “She’s a good girl, Trent, I’ll give you that. Horny, like. Think she’d take my whole fucking fist if I treated her right.”

“Jimmy!” Buck barked. “Just shut the fuck up, you stupid asshole!”

“Just having a fucking laugh!” he said. “Chill the fuck out.”

I met his eyes, saw the stupid drunk humour there, but it was too late. The rage sprung up from nowhere, burned right the way through my fucking body.

“A whole fucking fist, eh?” I laughed a stupid fake laugh. “How about I give you a whole fucking fist, you fucking cunt?”

He didn’t even see it coming. I cracked my knuckles right into his jaw and he fell like a sack of shit. I stood over him while he scrambled to his feet, ignoring the shouts from Buck and Hugh, ignoring the shouts of the pub landlord, too.

Buck tried to hold me back and Hugh went for Jimmy, but I was too wired, I shoved past both of them and swung again, but Jimmy was ready this time, he landed his fist on my fucking jaw right back and hit fucking hard. I took a step to the side, shook my head, getting my fucking balance back, and then I flew for him again, screaming blue fucking murder.

Arms and hands, and raised voices, too many people to push aside, and I was out in the cold, kicked out on my ear, trying my best to swagger like I didn’t give a fuck. I spat blood onto the pavement and everyone was staring. Loads of fucking people were staring at me.

“What?” I said. “Stare all you fucking want, I don’t give a fucking shit. I don’t give a shit what any of you fuckers think! None of you!”

But I was wrong.

I did fucking care.

Because amongst the crowd stood Jodie, and Tonya too. My girls were at their sides, and they were staring. Staring right at me, at my stupid drunken swagger and my swollen lip. Staring at the fucking state that was their father.

Ruby’s eyes were like plates, her lip trembling.

Mia looked white as a sheet.

And Jodie looked mortified. She gripped Ruby’s hand so tight.

Tonya shook her head at me, and Jodie raised a hand to her open mouth.

She may have looked surprised but she shouldn’t have been, not really. She’d seen this all before.

“Dad!” Ruby called. “Dad, are you alright? What happened, Dad?”

I raised a hand to keep her back. “Stay with your mum,” I said. “I’m fine, Rubes.”

The air was cool, and it sobered me, made me feel queasy rather than fucking drunk.

“But Dad… Dad, you’re bleeding!”

I shook my head. “Stay with your mum, Ruby. I’m alright.”

I turned away and couldn’t look back, couldn’t face it. Couldn’t face seeing their disappointment. Couldn’t face knowing what a fucking wanker I was.

I stumbled across the road to my place, and I could hear Ruby crying, hear Jodie telling her I was fine, just drunk, just being silly after a long day, that’s all.