Silly? It was more than I fucking deserved.
I opened the door to my place and only just made it inside before the tears came.
The poor girls. I hugged Ruby tight and forced a smile.
“He’s alright,” I said. “He’s just had a few too many pints, that’s all.”
“He was bleeding!” she cried.
“He probably stumbled into the door, beer makes you silly like that.”
“He was drunk,” Mia said. “Really drunk.”
“He wasn’t really drunk,” I lied. “He’d just had a few, he’s probably skipped dinner like a silly fool.”
“Whatever, Mum,” she said. “He was wrecked.”
I was figuring out what to say next when Buck arrived on the scene. I groaned inside, willed him not to say anything that would make things worse. He didn’t.
“Can I have a word, Jo?” he said. “In private, like.”
I looked at Tonya. “I’ll get the girls a Coke,” she said.
I nodded.
She rallied the girls and took them off towards the Drum. I sighed once they were out of earshot.
“What the hell happened, Buck?”
He shrugged. “Guess you saw enough for yourself. Jimmy was being a prick, Trent thumped him one, took one back. Not much more to it than that.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Nothing’s about right, Jo, not with Trent at the minute.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing, just waited for him to carry on.
“Lorraine set him up,” he said. “He wasn’t supposed to be there, had no intention of being there, only she told him you were going, you and Tonya. Told him you were after another fucking gangbang.”
I stared at him. “As if I’d go behind his back for another bloody orgy, Buck. For God’s sake!”
“I know that, Jo, and you know that, but she’s been whispering in his ear for fucking ages, telling him you think you’re too good for him, telling him you’re after other people, that he’s just a bit of rough, a bit of fun.”
Betrayal stabbed me all over again. “She really said that?”
He nodded. “Oh yeah, and a whole lot fucking worse, too. The woman’s fucking poison.”
I’d be damned if I was crying over that nasty cow. I choked back my upset. “I thought she was my friend.”
“Yeah, well, she wasn’t. She fooled a lot of people, Trent included.”
“He’s been seeing her a long time, hasn’t he?”
He laughed, but it wasn’t malicious. “Seeing her? Wouldn’t call it that. She paid good money, he did what he had to. She was just a client, Jo, she didn’t mean shit to him.”
The thought made me feel sick. “See, that’s the thing, Buck. I thought I could handle this shit, but I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t cope with knowing he’s off fucking half the village, people I know, people I see every day. I wanted to think it was alright, that it meant nothing, just another job, but it isn’t alright. It’s just not.”
His eyes were wide. “You think he’s fucking half the village?”
“Isn’t he?” I scoffed. “I’m a big girl, Buck, I can take it.”
“No,” he said. “He’s fucking not. He bailed out of Bang Gang, gave me the diary and called it quits. He’s done, Jo. Has been for fucking weeks now. Ever since you turned back up on the scene.”
My stomach lurched, turned right over. I felt the blood drain from my face. “You what?”
“I can’t believe he didn’t tell you this, dumb fucking idiot. He hasn’t fucked anyone, Jo, not since… you know. Not since you and him…”
“Nobody? Not even for money? What about the blonde in the Porsche?”
He shook his head. “Nobody, especially not the blonde in the fucking Porsche, and believe me, they’ve offered, plenty good enough cash as well.”
I felt unsteady, a bit lightheaded. “But why… why didn’t he say anything?”
“Because he’s Darren fucking Trent, I guess. He’s a fucking fool like that, Jo, you know he is.”
I did know. I knew it all too well.
“Jesus, Buck. I don’t even…”
He sighed, squeezed my shoulder. “Go after him. I know he’s a prize fucking tit, and he’s brought this crap on himself, but seriously, if you want him then go after him. He’s falling apart, Jo, breaking his fucking heart.”
“He said that?”
“He doesn’t need to say it, it’s written all over him.”
I was shaking all over again. “I didn’t think he gave a shit.”
“Yeah, well, he ain’t fucking helped himself in that, has he?”
“But Lorraine… and her lies…”
“That bitch hasn’t done either of you any favours, that’s for sure.” He smiled at me. “He fucking loves you, Jo, always has. Loves those girls, too.”
I looked across the road, the lights were on upstairs.
“Go,” he said. “He’ll only be moping up there.”
I took a breath, squeezed his hand. “Thanks,” I said. “At least someone told me what the hell was going on.”
“Tell him he can buy me a pint when he pulls his head out of his fucking ass.”