Bang Gang

She looked into my eyes. “This isn’t for the girls, right? It’s not for the baby, either?”

“No,” I said. “Christ, Jo, I love those girls more than I love life itself, and I’ll love the new one just as fucking much, but this is about you. It’s always been about you.” I closed my eyes. Made myself say it. “I’m not so good with words, Jodie. Fuck knows, I’m not. But I know what I want. I want to come home, I want to be where you are. I can’t fucking stand being here without you. Please, Jo, just let me come home. I’d give anything to come home.”

I heard a little choke, felt her shaking. I dared to open my eyes and hers were wet.

“Yes,” she said.

“Yes?” I had fucking shivers. “You serious? You’ll marry me?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you!” She was smiling. “My God, Darren, it’s what I always wanted. Always.”

“And I can come home?” I took a deep breath. “I can come home with you? For good?”

She wrapped her arms around my neck and it was the greatest thing I’ve ever felt.

“You better fucking had do,” she said.

The ring fit. It fit.

It sparkled under Darren’s bedroom light like the most beautiful star I’d ever seen. Only it wasn’t Darren’s bedroom light, not anymore.

He finished up packing some stuff into a suitcase. Dropped it by the bedroom door.

“That should do for now,” he said.

I smiled. “We’ll come back for the rest.”

He nodded.

I pulled him close, brushed my thumb so gently against his sore lip. “We’ve got two girls out there itching to catch the rest of the fireworks. I promised them doughnuts and sparklers.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Then they shall have doughnuts and sparklers, I’ll pop back for the case after.” He pressed his hand to my belly. “How far gone?”

“A couple of weeks,” I said. “It’s early.”

“Too early to tell the girls.”

I nodded. “We’ll tell them at Christmas. An extra surprise.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Sounds good to me, too.”

He sighed. “We’ll do things different this time round, Jo. I’ll be home for dinner, I’ll help with the baby, make sure things are better this time.”

“I know,” I said. “We’re different people now, Darren. Different but the same, maybe a little older and wiser, hey?”

He laughed. “Not so sure about that. I don’t feel so fucking wise, Jodie. Older, that’s true enough.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his thumbs brushed my cheeks, held me there. When he kissed me he tasted of beer and blood. He smelled like Darren Trent, too. Of oil and cigarettes and that cool blue shower gel he’s been using forever.

“I love you, Jo,” he said. “I’ll always fucking love you.”

“And I love you,” I said. “I’m glad I’m having another of your babies. We make such beautiful children, Darren.”

He grinned and his eyes were beautiful. “Good job,” he said. “Because chances are you’ll be having another, too.”

I pulled away and took his hand, walked past his suitcase into the hallway. Fireworks were calling. Fireworks and our beautiful girls.

“Another?” I asked. “Jeez, Darren, how many kids do you want?!”

He laughed. “Ain’t about that, Jo. Can’t seem to fucking look at you without getting you pregnant. We’ll end up with a whole fucking network of garages at this fucking rate.”

“Trent and sons.” I grinned.

He grinned right back. “Trent and fucking daughters, more like it.”

Tonya had already got the girls their doughnuts. They were covered in icing sugar, licking their sticky fingers.

I squeezed Darren’s hand as we approached, careful to keep my ring from view.

Ruby saw us first. “Daddd!” she squealed.

She bounded over and launched herself into his arms, full of questions about his face and whether he butt-hurt someone in the pub again.

“Think I might have done,” he said. “Sorry, Rubes, sometimes your dad can be a bit of a prick.” He dropped her to the ground and took her hand, took Mia’s too. He crouched down, at Ruby’s height and looked up at me. “Can I tell them?”

I nodded. “I think you best had.”

Ruby’s eyes were wide. “Tell us what, Dad?”

“Me and your mum. We’re getting married. I’m moving in with you, if you’ll have me. If that’s alright?” He looked between them, one to the other, but they didn’t speak, didn’t say a word. “I’d really like that,” he said. “We can be a proper family again, I’ll be there every day, every night… if that’s ok? Is that ok, girls?”

I looked at Tonya and her mouth was open wide. She fanned her face, and she was welling up, I saw it.

Ruby bit her lip, and her face crumpled. It made my breath catch in my throat.

“Yeah,” she said. “That’s ok!” She clung onto his neck and she was crying. “You’re really coming home, Dad? Really really?”

“Really really,” he said, and I’m sure his voice was thick. He looked up at Mia. “How do you feel about that, Mia? Can I come home? You alright with that?”