“Why’s he got a helmet and glasses on?” Malcolm asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Sam shake a shrimp around to bribe my cat.
“Jackson bought them for him to ride on his bike with him, but on the drive out of Arizona the sun was so bright, he put them on him in the car. He’s also got a harness and leash so he can walk around without getting lost.”
Gabby made a choking noise, and when I looked at her, she was laughing silently. “There’s so much about what you just said that I want to go deeper into.” When I just raised an eyebrow, my attention half on her and half on Sam, who’d grabbed up some more shrimps now and was tossing them up to Milkshake, she took a deep breath in. “Jackson wants to take him on his bike?”
“Yeah. He saw this thing on Facebook where this guy travels on his motorcycle with his cat in his jacket. With Milkshake being Siamese, though, he’ll need a harness that attaches him to Jackson so he can’t jump out and run away.”
Benny’s lips twitched. “Like a baby carrier?”
“Eh…” I wiggled my hand in the air to say ‘sorta’ without having to admit that’s what it looked like to me.
“So, the helmet and glasses are for Milkshake to wear when they’re riding around?” Gabby pressed.
“Yup. He bought them off of Amazon.”
“Christ,” Malcolm choked, his broad, muscular shoulders shaking. “Do they do matching biker’s boots and leather jackets?”
He might have been joking, but I made a mental note to look it up. Something, of course, that my cousins all read perfectly and starting roaring with laughter.
“How—” Gabby stopped, gasping as she tried to get oxygen into her lungs. “How often does he take the cat out on the harness and leash?”
“Just when we were driving back. It was over two thousand miles, and it’s not like he could use his litter tray while we were driving.”
“Try throwing some ham,” Benny yelled to Sam, then turned back to me. “Don’t you have a new Mini? Why couldn’t you have set it up for him in the back?”
“Because it does roughly one hundred and twenty-five miles per charge, and with the charging times—which are dependent on which cable we use, and go from just under forty minutes to eight hours—it’d have taken us a lot longer to get back than it did. Plus, can you imagine the smell from the cat’s ass and pee?”
Malcolm looked shocked. “Wait, did you fly back?”
I threw my head back and burst out laughing like it was the funniest joke I’d ever heard. Because it kind of was.
“Hell, no. We drove Jackson’s truck back. Can you imagine putting Milkshake’s litter tray in the bed of it? He’d go flying off the minute I put my foot down on the accelerator.”
“Maybe not,” Malcolm mused. “What with his harness and extendable leash, he’d look like he was parasailing over you.”
“Just as well he’s got a fucking helmet and goggles on,” Benny muttered, smiling now at what Sam was doing.
Except, when I looked back to check what was going on, it was to see Jackson standing under the tree Milkshake was in, with his arms crossed as he glared up at the cat.
“I won’t say it again, young man. Get your ass down here now,” he ordered, pointing right in front of him where the cat was to appear magically.
When Milkshake just meowed back, Jackson shook his head. “Don’t answer back, do as you’re told. I’m going to count back from five, and if you’re not here by the time I get to zero, I’m taking away the helmet and glasses. Do you hear me?”
Milkshake looked the other way, either trying to find freedom, mulling up his choices, or making his disdain for us known.
“Five…”
“This might well be the most bizarre situation I’ve ever been in,” Gabby whispered, watching it all wide-eyed. “A seriously hot guy”—she held her hand out to me for a high five, which of course I gave her—“ordering a cat wearing what he is out of a tree like a kid.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Malcolm recording it on his phone and was torn between being protective of Jackson and wanting a copy. Fuck it!
Leaning around Benny, I hissed, “Make sure you send that to me.”
“Four…”
Milkshake hissed down at Jackson.
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly. Was that a ‘yes, sir?’”
“More like a fuck you,” Benny said under his breath, and I had to agree with him.
“I mean it, I’ll take all of that away from you, and you’ll never see it again,” Jackson shouted.
“Uh, sweetheart?” Ronnie called. “It’s a cat. I don’t think he cares about consequences or being grounded.”
Ignoring her, he continued, “Three…”
Movement from Milkshake got my attention back on him, and I felt my heart sink into my ass because it looked like he was trying to climb higher instead of reversing down the way.