“I’m sorry,” Jess said quickly. “I didn’t mean to say something insensitive. I’m just—he just…” Suddenly, she couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. “Damn it, there was something happening between us. I felt it. It was real. He made me fly. Not just pleasant sub headspace, but truly soaring, breathtaking flight that I thought could only happen between”—she cut herself off, refusing to say the word aloud. Instead, she whined, “After that intense, amazing scene, he just fucking left me. What the hell?”
“Like I said, it can be hard to get used to. You’re a pleasure sub.” Brandon shrugged. “You’re here to serve and please the Masters. Not the other way around. While sometimes it can be a letdown if you wanted more than they could give, that’s not their problem or their fault. When the scene is over, they’re done with you.”
He smiled, perhaps to soften his words. “It’s what you signed up for, Jess,” he added gently. “And I get it. Being a pleasure sub works great for a lot of folks. When you walk into a Masters Club anywhere in the world, you know you’re going to have a stellar scene with an experienced Dominant, and then you get to walk away. It’s the perfect no-strings-attached setup for people who don’t like the strings. Me, I love the strings. And the rope and the chain and the leather restraints,” he added with a small laugh. “Maybe you’re more like me. Maybe you need the romance and the flowers, along with the whips and chains.”
Jess started to protest that she didn’t have a romantic bone in her body. But she stopped herself. Because that wasn’t true. It wasn’t that she didn’t want love. She’d just been too busy with her career to turn her focus there. And she was just a second-year associate. It wasn’t yet time to sit back on any laurels. She still had mountains of student debt and a long way to go.
That’s why she’d jumped at the chance to join the Masters Club. As Brandon noted, it was the perfect, no-strings attached setup. And he was right, too, that sometimes what a Dom gave you might feel very much like love. But that didn’t mean it was.
“Thanks, Brandon. You’re right. I was just getting caught up in the emotion of the scene. I’m feeling better now. Much better. I don’t even know what I was expecting, anyway. This is what I signed up for, and it’s all I need.”
Then she burst into tears.
It was Wednesday morning and Jess was doing fine. Just fine.
If she told herself that often enough, it was going to come true, eventually.
Hopefully.
After her embarrassing meltdown in front of Brandon the previous Friday night, she’d gotten herself cleaned up in the changing room. She had hoped to talk to Cleo, but she was nowhere to be found, no doubt in the arms or at the feet of some Master or other somewhere in the sprawling old brownstone.
She could have stayed for another scene, but by that point, all she wanted to do was get home and curl up in bed with a glass of wine and a good book. Happily, Vince had been available to whisk her home, and she’d seized the opportunity.
Over the course of the weekend, Jess had spent hours ruminating, fretting and raging over how the scene with Master Cameron had ended. But, as it always did, eventually her cooler mind had prevailed. After all, what had she expected? They hadn’t been on a date, for heaven’s sake. It had been a scene, nothing more. She wouldn’t have cared who administered her aftercare at a public club. Why should it be different here?
What had she been expecting from Master Cameron? Flowers and candy? Cuddles and kisses?
He wasn’t her lover. He was her mentor, nothing more. She was engaging in a new level of play, intense and powerful, but still, in the end, just a scene. And Master Cameron, for all her attraction to him, was just another Dom—not her personal Prince Charming.
She’d intended to return to the club on Saturday night. But after doing her daily run, a bunch of errands and several hours of work, she was too pooped to do anything but kick back on her couch and watch old movies on TV. At least that’s what she’d told herself.
Absurdly, she’d hoped and even half expected Master Cameron to get in touch with her, even if just to see how she was and where she’d disappeared to. But there was nary a peep from the guy. He probably hadn’t even noticed her absence.
Sunday was spent reorganizing her priorities and getting her head back on straight. If she’d had any doubt, it was now clear that Master Cameron intended to keep her at arm’s length. Whatever budding feelings she’d had for the man needed to be quashed, pronto. He was a great guy, sure. And a truly superb scene partner. But Brandon had clarified for her what she knew to be true, even if her emotions hadn’t quite caught up yet. What had he said exactly?