“Excuse me,” Elena said, pushing back her chair and getting up.
When she found Bonnie flitting about happily between tables, the redheaded girl hugged her enthusiastically. “Was that not the best wedding?” she asked.
Zander’s smile widened. “She’s been saying that to everyone,” he said affectionately. “I totally agree, of course, but I might be biased.”
“It was a wonderful wedding,” Elena agreed, “but actually I wanted to ask you, how do you know Alaric Saltzman?” On the dance floor, Alaric said something softly in Meredith’s ear, and she tossed her head back and laughed.
“Alaric? Oh, the High Wolf Council called him in to consult on some problem they had a while ago,” Bonnie said vaguely. “He and Zander got to be friends.”
Zander added, “He’s a really good guy. Meredith’s okay with him.”
“How do you know Alaric Saltzman?” Bonnie asked curiously.
“Oh.” Elena shifted uncomfortably. It was way too much to explain, especially in a crowded reception hall. “It’s complicated. I’m sure he won’t know who I am.”
“Huh. Oh,” Bonnie said, getting it. “One of those kind of friends. Out of the past. Or a different time, anyway.” Zander frowned, looking slightly bemused, but he didn’t say anything.
“Yes,” Elena said. “Exactly.”
A few minutes later, the photographer came over to ask Bonnie and Zander to pose with a table of Bonnie’s cousins, and Elena went back to her own table. From across the room, Elena watched as Alaric and Meredith danced, and then got a drink at the bar together, laughing and leaning toward each other, Meredith reaching up unconsciously to push twirl a falling tendril of her own hair around her finger as she smiled up at him. When they went out on the dance floor again, Alaric was holding Meredith’s hand firmly in his.
Elena took another sip of wine, but it suddenly tasted bitter.
She was happy for her friends. She truly was. They deserved every happiness, both of them, and Zander and Alaric were perfect partners.
But, despite that, Elena felt like the walls she’d built up inside herself were breaking, cracking, letting a flood of misery spill through her, one small stream at a time. She put down her wine glass and clenched her hands together, willing back the tears. She wasn’t going to make a scene at Bonnie’s wedding.
But she would grow old and die, and she would never know what had happened to Damon and Stefan. If they’d stuck together.
She might love each of them. Did love them, had a thousand memories of love, but they were only hers. They wouldn’t remember.
A lump was rising up in her throat, and she knew with sudden, devastating certainty that she was about to cry after all.
“Hey,” Matt said, leaning toward her. “Elena. Are you okay?”
“Of course,” Elena said, her voice brittle and cracking. “I always cry at weddings.”
“Sure,” Matt said. “Come dance with me, then. You don’t mind, do you, Jeannette?”
“Of course not,” Jeannette said lightly, looking at Elena with sympathetic, intelligent eyes. “I’m going to see if I can track down a waiter to bring me more of those tiny crab cakes.”
His big hand securely holding hers, Matt led Elena to a distant corner of the dance floor and wrapped his arms around her. Elena pressed her face against his shoulder, glad of the warm, reassuring bulk of him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Matt asked softly, and Elena shook her head, not looking up.
Matt held onto Elena tightly, and she let the tears flow, her face buried in his shoulder where no one could see.
At least I still have this, she thought, sniffling. At least I still have my friends.
Dear Diary,
The last four days in Virginia were wonderful ones. I went up and stayed with Aunt Judith and Robert in Richmond and spent some time with my baby sister. It’s so hard to believe that Margaret’s in middle school now. When I think about her, I still imagine that four-year-old with the big blue eyes, but she hasn’t been that little girl for a long time. We went with Aunt Judith and got our nails done together, and Meggie even told me about a boy she likes! How can she have grown up so fast?
Elena glanced up from her diary and out the tiny, rounded window as the wheels of her plane jolted as they landed on the runway. The sky at Charles de Gaulle airport was gray and drizzly, and just suited her mood. Elena sighed drearily and turned back to the diary.
I was thinking about moving back to Virginia. I’d get to see my baby sister grow up. Aunt Judith would be happy, and even Robert would be pleased.
I’ve got a life in Paris, of course. Friends. A job I love.