“You’re rooming with one of them,” she says, still not looking at me.
“And?”
“And you think she’s hot.”
“I never said that.”
“She’s hot. I’m saying she’s hot.” Jessa throws daggers at me with her eyes when she looks at me again. “So I know you think she is.”
“You’re putting words in my mouth.” I pick up the Jameson on the rocks I’m having and drink.
“I thought you two were just having fun,” Mav says, because Mav can’t mind his own fucking business. “I didn’t realize it was serious.”
“It’s not serious,” I say.
“It can be if you let it be,” Jessa retorts.
I don’t know what face I make, but I know I make one because she shakes her head, throws her napkin on the table, and storms off in the direction of the bathroom. I watch her bubbly ass until she disappears down the hall since it’ll probably be the last time I ever see it.
“You going to go after her?”
“No.”
“You serious?” Mav raises an eyebrow when I meet his eyes.
“You wanna go after her?”
“I can’t go after her. You already fucked her.”
“So?” Now I feel myself make a face. “You just said we weren’t serious.”
“Yeah, but that’s weird. Would you fuck your friend’s ex?” he asks, and I know he’s talking about Jo.
Maybe he’s not. My brother can be so dense sometimes. Either way, I ignore his statement. The fact of the matter is, Lawrence crossed the line first and technically I had Jo first. Lawrence knew I liked her and he went after her anyway, probably as a way to get back at me for not going to Duke and becoming one of his receivers. Well, fuck Lawrence and fuck Duke and fuck Bobby Yelich. I take another sip of my drink before setting it down. Josephine laughs again; this time her throaty laugh makes my heartbeat catch.
“Man, I didn’t know Bobby was that funny,” Mav says.
“He’s not.”
“You know him?”
“No.”
Mav chuckles. “You jealous?”
“Hell no.” I scowl.
“Sure looks like it.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out to see a text from Jessa.
Jessa: I’m leaving. I already got an Uber.
Me: I can take you.
Jessa: I don’t want you to.
Me: I don’t mind.
Jessa: What is this? What we’re doing? I thought maybe we were going somewhere.
Me: I told you I didn’t want a girlfriend. You said you didn’t want a boyfriend. I thought we had an agreement.
Jessa: We did.
Me: So?
Jessa: I like you. Things changed.
Me: Not for me.
She sends a sad face emoji and I put my phone away looking up just in time to see Mitch walking back to the table and Misty disappearing through the back door. Jo notices and gets up to go after her sister. Bobby and the other guy keep talking and dabbing like they won some kind of prize, but I focus on Mitch when he sits down. He looks over at me.
“Where’s Jessa?”
“She left.”
“Okay?” He frowns. “Alone?”
“She called an Uber.”
“Why?”
“What were you and Misty talking about?” I ask.
“Life. Just catching up.”
“Hm.” I take another sip of my drink. “Is that why she left looking pissed off?”
“Misty is her own person. I don’t decide how she reacts to the things we talk about.”
I laugh. “Okay, you fucking weirdo.”
“I asked her to come visit me in New York,” he says after a long, silent moment.
I blink. Mav blinks. The rest of the table is silent. The rest of the table are three guys from Mitch’s baseball team as well. It’s not like they’re untrustworthy or whatever but my brother isn’t much of a sharer so it surprises me that he said that aloud without a second thought.
“I take it she turned you down?” Yamil says across the table.
“Yep.” Mitch sighs heavily. “She says my first love will always be baseball and she’d always come second and she doesn’t think she can handle it and that if I do get signed she can’t bear to endure another heartbreak.”
“Did you tell her that wasn’t true and that baseball won’t always come first?” Mav asks.
“Why would I lie to her?” Mitch lets out a forced laugh. “She’s not wrong.”
“You two are going to die alone,” Mav says, shaking his head. “You’re so focused on yourselves that you forget you need other people.”
“Says the guy who spends more than half his time playing video games.”
“Hey, I’m getting paid to test out video games.” He shrugs a shoulder. “I’m okay with that.”
“For now. Wait till hockey season starts and you’re wrapped up in that,” Mitch says.
When the food arrives and it’s not Misty or Jo serving it, I start to wonder if they left. In the time between the food and the cheesecake, Henry comes over and starts talking to us with some friends, and I have to push Jo out of my mind, but not completely. Is she still outside? Is she coming back? Does she remember she promised to save me a slice of cake? It doesn’t matter. I’m getting cheesecake either way, but I want it to come from her. Even as I think this, I know it’s stupid, but it doesn’t make a difference. I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to have my cake and eat it too. Fuck the consequences.