“No!” She jerks her face away from my palm, glaring at me as her cheeks redden. “No, Jude.” The card slips from her fingers, and she turns away. This is not what I want. I want her for the rest of my life—I need her, but unfortunately, love is a luxury neither of us can afford.
I place a hand on her shoulder to gently spin her around, and she buries her face in my chest. I hold her, fighting back the feeling that my entire world is on the verge of ending. “I don’t want to let you go….”
“Then don’t.”
If only it were that simple. A few months ago, she begged me to let her go, and now… I glance over the top of her head at the clock on the living room wall. I have five hours left with her. Three hundred minutes. And I just want to spend that time holding her. I drop my hand and thread my fingers through hers, leading her up the stairs to our room.
Neither of us wants this, but I won’t lose her to him. I swipe at her tears, the crushing weight of loss already sitting on my chest.
She clings to me, her warm breaths washing over my face, and then my lips are on hers, hands tugging at her jeans as I backed her toward the bed. Shoes and pants; shirts—they all come off before her legs hit the mattress. Moonlight spills through the windows, highlighting the shadows of her curves. This woman is the epitome of grace and beauty, and she’s been mine. She’s been mine…
My hand slides over her waist to her hip as I kiss her, soft, gentle, reverent. I know without a shadow of a doubt I’m in love with her, and although it may be cruel as hell to tell her that now, I can’t imagine living the rest of my life without confessing that truth. And in just a few hours, I’ll never again have the chance to tell her.
I lower her to the bed and kiss my way between her breasts, over her stomach, trying to commit each dip and perfect curve to memory before I slip inside of her. The warmth, the tight heat, forces a breath from my lungs. It’s not just the way she feels—it’s her. I know that. What makes this right here feel so damn good is because it’s Tor. I need to be closer. I need this to mean more, so I sit up, dragging her with me until we’re face to face, and she’s riding me.
I kiss her like a man starved, my hands tangling in her soft hair. When she presses down on me, I match her rhythm and push up, burying myself as far as physically possible. And I hold her there. “I fucking love you, Tor.”
Her breasts push against me on a hard breath, and her chin drops to my shoulder. “I love you, too.”
This—this feels so damn right. I hold her against me as we move slow and steadily. Warm tears pool on my shoulder, and her arms come around me, tight and binding.
“I’m so fucking sorry…”
She kisses me, and now I cling to her like she’s the last goddamn star in the universe, and without her, all light in darkness will disappear. And it will...
22
Victoria
I cling to Jude in the driveway, beside the open door of Caleb’s running truck, with my heart literally breaking. My chest is so tight, I find it hard to breathe, hard to do anything but hold onto him tighter.
“Jude, it’s getting close to three….” Caleb’s voice comes from inside the truck, and I want to block it out and pretend I have a little more time.
Jude cups my face, tilting my head back so that our gazes meet, and the broken look in his eyes makes this even harder. Never in a million years would I have believed this man would be the one who would own my body and heart, yet, here I am, terrified at the prospect of a life without him. “Know above all else, Tor. I love you.” His lips cover mine in a hard, desperate kiss. One where every emotion seeps into me. “I fucking love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He takes a step back only to kiss me again, and this time the salty taste of tears slips onto my tongue. When he pulls away, his cheeks are wet, and whatever was left of my heart is ripped out right there.
I force myself to pull away from him, to climb into the passenger seat. Jude closes the door and moves to the end of the drive, his hands shoved into his pockets as Caleb backs out. The overwhelming sense of loss is unbearable.
I thought the loss of my former life felt catastrophic, but that now pales in comparison to this.