"It's true about sex too. Most guys are more concerned with embarrassing themselves than making sure you're comfortable."
I'm not sure I see the connection, but I nod anyway. "I'll be careful."
"You promise?"
"I do."
"Thanks." She pulls me into a side hug. "I gave my older sister lecture. Now, I'm done. I swear."
"Uh-huh."
"Really." She holds up three fingers. "Scout's honor."
I laugh. "When were you a scout?"
"Uh, on my love of Amy Winehouse."
"That's a promise I can trust." I take another sip. Turn so I'm facing my sister. "So these guys who are more concerned with not embarrassing themselves… is Ty one of them?"
"God no."
I raise a brow.
Her cheeks flame. "He… uh… He's careful with me. That's all I'll say."
"What if I get you drunk?"
She laughs. "Has that worked before?"
I motion a little. "What about Cam?"
"Do I think he's worried about embarrassing himself?"
"Yeah."
"Are we speculating because you want me to think you're going to fuck him? Or because it's fun to gossip about friends?"
"How about both?"
She leans back in her seat. "I don't know. He acts aloof, but I think it's an act."
"And he's secretly as tortured as Ty."
"No. I think he's like you."
"Like me?" I raise a brow.
She nods. "All bravado."
"Did you just call me vanilla?"
"There's nothing wrong with being vanilla."
I shoot her a really look.
"What? I can't appreciate the merits of vanilla?"
"I don't know. Can you?"
Her laugh is big and full. "Sometimes. It's nice to mix it up."
"He can't tie you up every single time. That would get old?"
Her laugh gets louder. "It would."
"So to mix it you, you stare into each other's eyes during missionary?"
"Missionary is nice."
"And you like nice?"
Her cheeks flush. "Sometimes. It's intimate. Tender. That's not usually what I want, but sometimes… it feels good, having your body against your lover's body, being close, feeling the weight of them."
"How can someone who's such a freak make sex sound so romantic?"
"Being a freak is romantic. Haven't you seen The Addams Family?"
"Of course, that's your idea of romantic."
"It is."
Yeah, it totally is. Morticia and Gomez Addams are totally obsessed with each other. They live to fuck each other and they do it in every conceivable way.
That's the kind of thing I'd usually call romantic.
But now that my sister has really embraced her inner freak—
I tease her about her sex life.
She teases me about reality TV and soccer and my hatred of dressing up for Ty's diners.
And it feels so fucking good, like she's my best friend and I'm hers, like we can tell each other anything.
We can.
Right now, we can.
If I cross the line with Cam—
She's right. I'm an adult. I can appreciate the consequences. She might forgive me if I fuck Cam, but she won't trust me the same way.
She'll see me as the person who came between her husband and his closest friend.
I can't do that.
I can't lose my sister.
Not for sex. Not for lust. Not for anything.
Chapter Ten
Cam
All day, I put out fires at work. It's the usual bullocks. Clients who need hand holding, entrepreneurs over promising, investors with cold feet.
I know how to turn on the charm, and I'm willing to do it for the business, but I'm not usually on client calls. I'm head of finance.
I run numbers, decide where we should invest, work with Ian to determine if a company's secrets will hurt or help us.
We're half venture capital, half corporate espionage. Ty's brother Ian runs the latter. He's former Mi6. It's easy for him to dig dirt, and he's without moral qualms.
Information wants to be free. Why not make it free.
It makes sense for him. His ex-wife kept her affair a secret. He was in the dark for years.
Now, he wants to bring everything to light.
It doesn't take a shrink to put the pieces together.
It doesn't take a shrink to see why I avoid his side of the business.
I understand the burden of secrets. Maybe I should listen to Ty and let go of mine. But I can't.
Sometimes secrets are the only way to survive.
Ty understands that. Not the way I do, but enough.
Enough he doesn't mention the woman who fucked up my head. Not normally.
Now that he sees Sienna as his kid sister, he's concerned.
Look what happened to me, when a woman ten years my senior invited me into her bed. A woman I trusted. A woman who was supposed to protect me.
My football coach.
She was a new teacher. Twenty-four and gorgeous. All the guys on the team talked about how they wanted her. A pretty blonde with light eyes, nice tits, and an intimate knowledge of sports—
What more could a teenage boy want?
I talked the same talk. The same bullocks as all the other boys. I bragged about my experience, about how much girls wanted me, about what I'd do with Winter.
I'd seen porn, I'd seen arty films, I'd read books with sex. I thought I knew what it was like, but I didn't have a fucking clue.