Dirty Secret

"You're going to lose control?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I miss you so fucking much."

"I miss you too." It feels good, being this close to her.

Not complicated, not messy, not loaded.

Right.

"Has it really been four months?" she asks.

I nod.

"Are you going to come fast?"

My laugh breaks the tension in my chest. "Did you just ask that?"

"It's a fair question."

Again, I laugh.

"What? You haven't had sex in four months. It would be normal if you were quick. I don't mind."

"I haven't said I'll fuck you."

"Yeah, but if you do. We can… thirty minutes, right? We can go again in thirty minutes."

"If I'm not ready in thirty minutes?"

"It's been four months. You will be."

My laugh gets louder.

She makes a show of pouting. "Okay, if you're not, I have the vibrator you sent me. All three of them."

That might have been overkill. But this… It's such a Sienna reply. I love you. It almost forms on my tongue. It's so fucking close, but that's not a place I'm ready to go.

It's too loaded, too messy, too hard.

But this—

I can do this.

I wasn't sure two minutes ago, but now that's she's asked that—

Now, I'm sure.

"I am." My fingers curl into her lower back. "But you're right. It's been four months. It might be too much. I might need to stop. If you can't—"

"I can. I just… might need you to tell me twice."

"You're not going to follow orders, sweetness?"

"Cam." Her voice drops to a whine. "No teasing. If you're not—"

I cut her off with a kiss.

She groans against my lips.

I take her into my arms, carry her to the bedroom. Her bedroom.

Lit only by the twinkling string lights and the soft blue glow of the sky outside. It's perfect. It's her.

I lay her on the bed.

She looks up at me with a hazy expression. "I really fucking missed you."

"I know." I do away with my suit jacket. "Clothes off."

"All of them?"

"All of them."

She slips out of her shoes first. Slowly, she rolls her tights to her ankles. Then the suit jacket.

The gold dress.

She's wearing the red lingerie under it.

The lingerie I bought her.

"Sweetness." The sight of her steals my breath. Not because she's gorgeous, though she is.

Because she's mine.

She's known it all this time.

She's trusted it all this time.

Sienna looks up at me as she does away with her bra. Then her knickers.

She's naked on her bed, ready, waiting, buzzing with anticipation.

Her need fills the room. It overwhelms me. But not in a way that sends my head to ugly places.

It fills me with pride.

Affection.

Desire.

My feelings for her are overwhelming, but this—

This makes sense.

She watches as I do away with my jacket and tie.

Then my shoes and socks.

My shirt.

My slacks.

Her eyes go wide as I slip out of my boxers. "Fuck." Her chest heaves. "I've never seen you naked before. Not all the way."

"I know."

"You… fuck."

"Spread your legs, sweetness."

She nods and does as she's told.

I pull her to the edge of the bed and drop to my knees between her legs.

She's right. I'm keyed up. I'm going to come fast.

I need to make her come first.

I really fucking need to make her come.

"I've been dreaming about this for four months." I press the heels of my hands into her thighs, pinning her legs to the bed.

She groans as I bring my mouth to her clit.

I take a moment to savor the taste of her. Take another to tease her.

Then I go to the spot she needs.

I lick her with steady strokes.

Slowly to start.

Then faster.

Faster.

There.

"Fuck." Her thighs fight my hands. Her fingers dig into the sheets.

I release one of her legs. Take her hand. Bring it to my shoulder.

"Fuck, Cam." Her fingers dig into my shoulders. "Fuck me. Please."

"This first." I press my lips to her inner thigh, then I work her exactly how she needs me.

Hard.

Fast.

Steady.

Her touch firms.

Her thighs shake.

Her groans run together.

With the next flick of my tongue, she comes. She groans my name as she pulses against my mouth.

She gets wetter, sweeter, even more in need.

I'm not sure how it's possible. She wants more the more she comes. She's fucking greedy and I fucking love it.

I work her through her orgasm, then I stand, climb onto the bed, place my body over hers.

She wraps her legs around my waist. Looks up at me as if to say are you sure?

Slowly, I bring our bodies together.

My tip brushes her cunt.

Her eyes flutter closed. Her lips part with a groan.

"Fuck, Cam. Please." She wraps her arms around me. "Please fuck me."

I tease her one more time, then I drive into her.

She feels good. Warm and soft and mine.

More than before. More than anyone ever has.

It's overwhelming.

I stay there for a moment, savoring the feel of her.

Her nails dig into my back. Hard. Then softer. "Is it okay?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"Then fuck me already."

A laugh spills from my lips. "You're perfect, you know that?"