Me, on the other hand? They scare the living pants off of me—and not in a good way. Plus, you know, there isn’t a single boy at this school that I’d be curious about.
Or there hadn’t been until recently.
Last year, when we were in eleventh grade, I’d had some fantasies about losing my virginity to Elliot Zane, who was a year older. But he’s since graduated and now I’ve got either the boys in my grade or the ones below. Everly says I can’t afford to be picky and she’s probably right, but even so.
“I heard that Jenny Bishop hooked up with him over the weekend,” Everly whispers, her eyes darting around her. It wouldn’t be the first time that we’ve talked about someone to find them standing behind us or within earshot. High school is just one big instance of people overhearing things.
I want to make a remark about Jenny Bishop hooking up with everyone, but decide it makes me look jealous and petty. This is something I’ve kept from Everly, even though she’s my best friend, but I’ve always been jealous of the girls who get around. The idea of sex just has me so uptight and nervous, I wish I could just sleep with whomever I wanted. But being naked, that intimate, with someone…I’m already feeling flushed, my hands clammy, just thinking about it.
And it’s not just the sex thing. I kind of wish people gossiped about me the way that Everly and I gossip about everyone else. Sounds stupid, I know—who in their right mind would want to be a part of the rumor mill? But sometimes I think I’m not in my right mind.
“Oh my god, there he is,” Everly says in a hush.
“Jeremy?” I ask, following her gaze to the entrance to the library.
But it’s not Jeremy at all.
It’s Anders. Anders Johansen, the foreign exchange student from Norway.
And my current obsession.
I try not to stare. It’s hard not to.
Anders just moved here a few weeks ago, making him now the second tallest guy in our grade (after Nick “Smu” Rodham, who plays on the basketball team). He’s got longish dark hair that curls a little at the nape of his neck, dark grey-blue eyes, and the facial hair that most guys our age would only dream about growing. Plus, he’s got the sexiest accent and tattoos. He’s the quintessential brooding bad boy, like Heathcliff was transported from the Wuthering Heights book we had to read last year and plunked down in our school, wandering the halls instead of the moors.
“He’s so hot,” Everly says dreamily. “Though also a little scary.”
“Scary?” I ask, watching as Anders stops in the middle of the library and looks around, one thumb hooked under the strap of his backpack, looking effortlessly cool. “Why, just because he wears all black?”
“Yeah,” she says breathlessly. “But it’s a good kind of scary.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever.” Everly may want to see everyone’s dick, but hearing her talk about Anders that way really gets my hackles raised.
I mean, I know I lay no claim to him. He talked to me in the halls one day and I was a goner after that. He has a way of staring at you so intensely that it makes you want to do the same to him. When he’s not looking of course. Over the last few weeks I’ve become really good at looking at him when he doesn’t know it.
Now, though, I’m failing.
Because he just looked our way.
And met my eyes.
Shit.
“Oh no!” I cry out, trying to hide behind the Sprite. “He just looked at me!”
“And now he’s walking over here,” Everly says, way too gleefully.
“What?!” My heart feels like it’s going to leap out of my chest. “No!” I look up and, fuck, yup, there he is, walking our way, a faint smirk on his lips. Shit, shit, shit!
“Hey Anders,” Everly says to him, smiling, and I’m wondering if I can hide under the table. What if I pretend I’ve dropped something and I’m looking for it? That could work. Maybe he’ll go away. Worth a shot.
I lean over, my hands on the dirty carpet, hoping he can’t see me.
“Hey Everly,” he says in his sexy accent, and I see his black Doc Martens stop right beside the table. “Is Shay around?”
Oh my god, he’s asking for me! He remembers my name!
And then my face goes beet red when I realize my back is probably still showing and he can very plainly see me. Well now what?
“Oh, Shay is around,” Everly says, and I feel her eyes on me. “She seems to be busy at the moment though.”
“That’s fine. I was wondering if you could pass on a message for me.”
Oh my god.
“Of course,” Everly says, and I can tell she’s trying not to laugh.
“I was wondering if she wanted to go out with me Friday night.”