The Insiders (The Insiders Trilogy 1)

Peter moved forward, leading the way.

I paused, just on the doorstep, and looked up at the guard. I don’t know why I did that. Maybe I wanted to memorize him, too.

Or maybe I wanted one more second to remember this morning.

Seven in the morning.

A slight chill in the air.

The sky was a pewter gray.

I heard the sounds of birds. Ducks. Others chirping.

I felt mist in the air. Knew it would rain later.

This morning was the day I walked beside my father.

This was what I wanted to memorialize, because once I went in there, when I sat behind a computer, I wouldn’t think about this again. I would get sucked into that world and all of this would go away, so I drew a breath in, waiting one beat, knowing everything was committed to my long-term memory, and then I went inside.

He was waiting for me, a funny look on his face.

I ducked my head, avoiding his eyes.

He opened a door, and going through it, I was in the main control room.

This was my world, my haven.

The main computer was already booted up. He waited at the door, and there was no reason for words after this.

I sat down, got up close to the computer. There were headphones at the ready, and once I started, someone brought me coffee. I didn’t ask, and I knew it wasn’t him, because it was a slender wrist, but I drank it. I kept working.

It took an hour to put everything back for Cyclone’s files. Thirty minutes for Matt’s. Forty-two minutes for Seraphina’s. Forty-one minutes for Quinn’s. I hated it, but it was another full hour to return everything for Marie.

I never hacked him.

What they wanted from me was done. I restored everything and I could’ve pulled away from the computer, shut it down, and returned to Kash’s villa.

I didn’t.

My fingers were already typing before I thought about it, but I did other stuff. I reinforced their firewalls. I put in a new surprise security program. It would be there if someone got through again. And then I started writing code that would close the holes I had used in the first place.

I secured Cyclone’s IP address.

I put in a double lock on the whole system, and I even put in a small system that would sniff out anyone like me and send a preliminary alert to the entire security system.

During all of this, he stood behind me. I knew it because I could feel him. There were moments I forgot he was there, but a sixth sense kept pricking at me, and I knew that was his scrutiny. He never wavered the whole time, so I just worked through it.

I went through four cups of coffee and two energy drinks.

When I was done, I shoved away from the computer and had to dash to the bathroom. My bladder was bursting to be released. In the stall, I did the math. I’d been working to repair and then make his system better for six hours. I had started after seven. It was almost two in the afternoon.

Why did I do that? Why did I help to better what he did for a living?

I didn’t want to know the answer or think about it, but I couldn’t help myself. Approval. I wanted his approval. And I tasted my own shame at realizing that.

He had cast me out.

I shouldn’t want his approval or anything. His acceptance. Nothing. He obviously wasn’t going to give it or he would’ve said something before we walked here, or on the walk.

He was quiet the whole time, but still … A thought was pricking me again. He was behind me for six hours and watched everything. Who would do that?

He never drank anything. He never ate anything. I would’ve noticed, because while I hated it, I was still keenly aware of him. He never left the room to use the bathroom, phone. Nothing. There’d been no sounds of him texting.

That was something. Right?

Had to be.

Had to mean something that he stood and watched me work and never left, not once.

Or maybe my hope was starting again, and I needed to squash it. Yes. That was it. I had to eviscerate that. It was his job. My job. He wanted to see what I could do.

That’s why he watched me.

Yeah.

Bitterness spread through me. Pain tore at me. But that made the most sense.

Business. His business. That’s the only reason he never moved while I worked.

Leaving the stall, washing my hands, my feet were moving like I was walking in slightly dry cement. It was hard to trudge through it. Then I was in the hallway and he wasn’t there.

See.

I was right.

But I was done, so I could go back to the villa. Heading for the exit, I heard their voices as I neared the door.