I almost wanted to tell Wyatt, just to see the shock on his face. That maybe boring Robert Jenkins wasn’t so boring after all.
But they could never know. No one could ever know.
Living a double life had the unexpected consequence of not being able to really get involved with someone on an emotional level. Because how could I tell a potential girlfriend that I couldn’t see them on the weekends because I had to take my clothes off for other people? I didn’t think too many women would be okay with that.
That is what ruined whatever had been building between me and Skylar. And that was the one major part of this that really sucked because I liked Skylar Murphy. I really did.
It had been a long time since I had felt that stirring in my gut toward someone else. I had closed myself to the idea of a romantic relationship with anyone. Emotional complications had no place in my life. I had my hands full with work and with taking care of Mom and Sam. And after everything that went down with Tiffany—well, I wasn’t going to risk opening myself to anyone in that way. I wasn’t going to let my heart be someone’s plaything ever again.
But Skylar had come out of nowhere. This beautiful, ridiculously smart woman took no shit from anyone. Her dry sense of humor meshed perfectly with mine. My awkwardness worked perfectly with her standoffishness. She had been hurt; I could see that from the very start. I should have backed off. I should have kept things friendly. I should have made sure nothing happened between us.
I didn't expect to come to care for her. To want to share myself with her.
She slipped under my skin before I realized she was there, and it took everything for me not to spill my guts to her. I couldn’t. I had conditioned myself to keep things close to the chest. I was a man with two separate lives and I couldn't let those lives intersect. Not even once.
Skylar had quickly grown tired of my evasive bullshit. There was only so deep two people could go when one of them wouldn’t share more than their favorite color or what movies they watch. I wanted to tell her about Sam. About Mom. About how hard it was to take care of everyone. But I couldn’t.
I didn’t trust that Skylar would want to stick around once she saw the man that existed below the surface. That he was a guy who barely kept things together. That he wasn’t the confident, controlled person he projected to the world.
Tiffany had destroyed my trust in all things.
Most of all myself.
My phone buzzed with a notification from my website. Someone had messaged me asking for a dance. They were willing to pay considerably more than the usual $500 fee. I checked the time. I had to be at Adam and Meg’s in a couple of hours.
I started to feel the fizzing in my veins that slipping into my alternate personality gave me. I had time for one more dance. Especially for the kind of money they were offering.
I headed back to the room I reserved for filming and set up my laptop. I turned on the ring light and positioned myself in front of the camera. I remembered to mute the client this time. I never invited conversation during my dances. This wasn’t about chit-chat and getting to know each other. This was about the money they gave me to show them my body.
I blurred my face, but also standing in a way that they couldn’t make out much above the neck. Most people didn’t care about what I looked like; they just wanted my skin. My muscles. My cock.
I turned on the music then started the live stream for my new customer. I typed a quick message to them, introducing myself as Jared—the made-up name I had given myself. I asked for theirs. I liked to make it as personal an experience as I could for them. It’s what made them come back for more.
The message came back almost instantly.
Call me Darling.
Huh. Okay, they didn’t want me to use their real name either. That was fine by me.
I started dancing, slow and steady. “Do you like this, Darling?” I rasped as I started to remove my shirt.
Then I let myself disappear for a while.
**
“Sorry I’m late,” I apologized, handing Adam a bottle of red wine.
Adam held the door open for me and I stepped inside the home he shared with his wife and son. “I was starting to get worried. If there’s anything Robert Jenkins is known for, it’s punctuality,” Adam teased.
“I was working on the Cambridge deposition. I lost all track of time,” I lied effortlessly.
Adam rolled his eyes. “Dude, you really need to learn when to have a break. All work and no play makes Robert a dull boy.”