“Um, Mr. Sheehan is right there. He just came to get Edgar,” she murmured against my mouth. I broke away from her and the both of us waved to the older man walking down the road with Skylar’s beast of a dog.
“He was okay with having Edgar for the weekend?” I asked, holding the passenger door open for Skylar to get in.
“He loves having Edgar. I sometimes think my traitorous dog loves Mr. Sheehan more than he loves me.
“It has to be all the sausages Mr. Sheehan gives him.” Skylar tucked her body into her seat, and I closed the door.
Once we were all settled and on our way, I noticed Skylar tapping her knee in what appeared to be a nervous gesture. “Everything okay over there?”
Skylar’s smile was more akin to a grimace. “I’m feeling weird.”
“Weird? Why?”
She started chewing on her bottom lip. “We’re going away together for the weekend,” she began.
“Yes, we are,” I smiled.
“And you’re taking me to meet your family,” she continued. The tapping became quicker, more agitated.
My smile faded slightly. Was I pushing things? I was trying to be laid back and take my time. I didn’t want to rush her. But I also felt this frantic need to immerse her into parts of my life I had kept carefully separate from everything else. I wasn’t ashamed of my family, just intensely protective of their wellbeing. I didn’t want Sam or my mom to know how I kept them comfortable. That wasn’t a reality they needed to be aware of.
I had worked hard to compartmentalize and as such, I had split into three people. There was the Robert I became when I was with my family. There was the Robert who worked as a successful attorney. And there was the Robert who became a camboy at night, taking his clothes off to people who paid for the privilege. Each one was a different part of me, a different part of my personality. And until this moment, I hadn’t meshed them together in any way. This was the first time since I had become these three different men, that I was pushing either of those sides together. It was momentous for me. Skylar had no idea.
Tiffany had come dangerously close to blurring the lines between my lives and as such my walls were very high. And there was Skylar, looking over the top, ready to climb over.
I wanted to let her.
“Is this going too fast?” I asked her.
Skylar released her lip and stared out the window. “I have a chip on my shoulder, Rob. Let's call it a crater.” She furrowed her brow. “I’m scared to get my hopes up about us.”
I reached across the center console and took her hand, lacing our fingers together. “I’ve never introduced a woman to Sam and my mom before.”
That made her look at me. “Never? Really?
I shook my head. “I don’t really date. In fact, I haven’t had a real girlfriend since college.” I didn’t tell her that my only previous relationship was with the woman who also made money when I took off my clothes for other people. I knew that part of my life was dark and being with Skylar made me feel shame for the first time ever about the decisions I had made for myself in the past. I didn’t want to be that person. I wanted to have a clean history with no secrets.
I had some decisions to make.
“So this is a big deal for me too,” I went on, pushing those thoughts from my mind. I would deal with that later. I had to focus on Skylar and what she meant to me.
“What if your brother and mom don’t like me? I’m not an easy person to like, Rob.” She sounded so concerned that I found myself turning on the turn signal and pulling off to the side of the road.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
I put the car into park once I was safely on the shoulder. I unbuckled my seat belt and turned to her, reaching out and cupping her face in my hands. “My god, Skylar, you’re fucking perfect, can’t you see that?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not fishing for compliments. And I’m not suffering from low self-esteem. I’m simply being honest with myself. Mac’s parents didn’t like me. His mom made it very obvious she thought her son could do better.” She snorted. “They must be like pigs in the shit now that I’m out of their lives.”
“Then they’re idiots. And from what you’ve told me about Mac, it’s not surprising his parents were morons. My mom is amazing. So is my brother. And they’ll love you because I—” I cut off my words abruptly. I had come dangerously close to telling her that I loved her. And given her state of near panic, that would be a very bad idea.