"Why would you k-kill Lai?" I stutter. "You didn't even know him... You said you've never even been to Eden Falls..."
"You're so naive," she scoffs. "You actually believed me? Wow, you're even dumber than I thought. Come on, think, P. Who was here before you? Who have you been constantly trying to live up to? Whose shoes did you have to fill? Who did your mother mistake me for?"
I take a deep breath. I don't want to say it. To say it means admitting there's truth in it, and I can't possibly face the facts right now. But the words fall from my lips before I can stop myself.
"Lily Anna," I breathe.
"Say it again," she whispers, her face close to mine. I examine her beauty, and there it is—every
little sign, every feature I ignored because I was so fucking preoccupied with my own problems I never saw her for the wolf in sheep's clothing she is.
"Lily Anna Oakes," I whisper. "But... but you're dead."
She grabs my hand then and presses the palm to her chest. I flush, feeling her fast heartbeat beneath my fingers. Thud. Thud. Thud.
"Still kicking," she grins.
"But how..."
"Figure it out," she says, waving her hand. "Work those brain cells, bitch. And by the way? Now that you know, the fun times are over."
"What the fuck?"
"I'm done being sweet, boring little Alli." She smirks. "Now you get to meet the real me. And trust me, P. You're in for a fucking treat."
9
Dexter
4 months later
She's constantly on my mind.
Pandora Oakes. I should've known the one person I thought least likely would be the girl to bring me to my knees.
It's been months now, months without her, months of looking for her without any kind of success. She's just gone—disappeared into the ether, without a trace.
When we arrived back in Eden Falls after paying a visit to Pandora's mother, we kept a close eye on the train station CCTV, but it was too late. The footage showed Lily Anna and Pandora arriving that morning, stepping off the train and heading god fucking knows where. That's the worst part about this fucking mess—they must be right here, in town. At the touch of my fingertips. And yet we have no idea where to look anymore.
With the help of the guys and Emilian Oakes, I've turned this town upside down in my effort to find them.
But I didn't. And that failure will follow me until the end of the days, and I'll have to live with it.
My hands form fists. I groan, resisting the urge to smash my fist into the wall again. I think about my options. Sending more teams out to find them. Checking more security footage. But there's nothing out there, fucking nothing. I'll never find them. And besides... it might already be too late.
The thought makes me, Dexter motherfucking Booth, scared.
And I don't fucking do scared.
But I can't lose Pandora. Especially not now, knowing she's so vulnerable, knowing she's carrying a kid. A kid that could be mine. A kid I have to save from Lily Anna.
I keep telling myself I'm only doing this because of the baby, but deep down, I know the truth. I want Pandora back. I miss her body next to mine. Miss our conversations. I miss teasing her, hurting her. I miss having a willing little victim, a toy to play with whenever I need one.
Now it's almost too late in the game. She's heavily pregnant by now, her belly filled with life growing inside her.
Soon enough, she'll be a mom. And I won't be there for her, or for the baby.
I slam my fist into the wall.