“Do you want to hold her?” I ask.
Without answering, she holds both her arms out and I carefully slip Penelope into her arms. She wraps herself around her daughter and sits on the couch her daughter was just moments ago. Delilah’s hair frames her face, concealing the both of them. She sobs and hugs Penelope close. I’ve never seen Delilah so vulnerable and emotional. She’s wide open and pouring her heart out, and it has me feeling some type of way. I can’t explain it.
“You’re a good mom, Delilah.”
Slowly lifting her head, her eyes rimmed red from crying, she sobs, “How do you know?”
I scoff, “Because I’ve seen what a shitty mother looks like.”
Tears stream down her cheeks and she tucks her head back into Penelope. My mother never held me like Delilah is holding her daughter, not when I was little or when I got older and got my first injury in bull riding. I was always alone, but I can see maternal love just standing here watching D and her daughter. She’s a natural.
Turning to give her some space, I go back to the bar needing a fucking drink and find Shadow and Dani sitting at the bar, both of them looking stressed and exhausted. Grabbing a beer from the cooler, I kick off the top and take a swig, looking the couple over and everything falls into place. Like how protective Shadow has been over Delilah, it’s because of Penelope. The whole family went through something together and he was trying to make sure Delilah never relived that mistake again. It also explains why Delilah never had sex with anyone after having Penelope and why she was so condom crazy when we hooked up. There were times I could barely remember my name she had me in such a way and she would stop us with a dead stare and demand a condom.
“You alright, prez?”
He shoots me a look, but I just stand there waiting for him to reply. What he’s going through can’t be easy.
“I just, I never thought we’d see our grandchild, and here she is.” His tone grim, but somehow happy at the same time.
“We want Delilah to make her own choice but at the same time we’re scared to death she thinks she’s still not ready for a child and is going to give Penelope back to her adoptive family,” Dani says with glossy eyes.
Taking a swig of the beer I think about what just happened in the kitchen, and I definitely think Delilah is keeping her daughter, but I keep my thoughts to myself.
“You underestimate Delilah,” I tell them both and their heads snap up, eyes wide as if I just told them their fortune. It’s true, they see D as this scared fifteen-year-old girl and not the woman she is today.
“What are you going to do if she keeps the kid?” Shadow asks, his eyes squinting with curiosity.
Looking back at him, I don’t say a word. A girl I just walked over broken glass and swore my honor too, just happened to have a four-year-old kid pop up, I mean, that’s a game-changer for a lot of reasons.
26
Delilah
Sitting on my bed, I stare at Penelope as she sleeps, I can’t stop looking at her. The thought that I get to be her mommy exciting but I can’t get the idea that she might be taken from me any second. Maybe that’s why I can’t leave her side. I’m afraid someone will pinch me and I’ll wake up to all this being a dream. The sound of footsteps coming into my room has me straighten my back, the smell of leather and spice alerting me it’s my father. Looking over my shoulder, I find him leaning against the doorframe watching both Penelope and me.
“Have you decided what you want to do, or do you need more time?” His voice low but full of pressure.
I remember when I made the decision to put her up for adoption in the first place. He wasn’t happy about it. My mother tried to reassure me that they would help me and that we could do it as a family but I just didn’t have the strength in my heart to accept their help. I wouldn’t be a mom if my parents were taking care of both Penelope and me. Over the years, I’ve seen the way they look at kids, pretty much like I do. I always thought about the delivery, Penelope’s cute face, and wondered what she looked like now. It hurt more than anything to know she was out there and I couldn’t have her.
“I’m never letting her go again,” I whisper and look back to my beautiful little girl. She looks like Thane a lot in the face. Her cheeks and jawline.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he replies and comes farther into the room. The bed dips and he sits next to me, looking his granddaughter over. “I know you made the decision to give her up for adoption because you were a kid yourself, but I can’t help but think this is fate’s way of giving you a second chance because you’re ready now.”