The Secrets That Find Us (The Devils Dust MC Legacy)
Page 87
She reaches into the bag and pulls out a handful of orange dusty puffs and shoves one in her mouth.
“No, I like it. We should watch it.” The pitch of her voice gets louder as she suggests the movie.
“I wanted to watch Fast and Furious, but Grandma said I had to wait until I got older.” She sighs, slumping into my lap. “I can’t wait to be an adult.”
The way she says adult is way off, but I get what she’s saying and I used to think the same thing when I was younger. “Trust me when I tell you being a kid is way more fun.”
This seems to perk her up. “Really?”
“Yeah, when you’re my age, you don’t get to do kid stuff, you’re expected to be mature and always make the right decisions, and you have to get up early.”
Her nose scrunches like she ate something sour and I laugh, giving her thigh a pat.
“Go get the remote, we’ll watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. Ooh, I saw they added a movie called Coraline. It has that Jack the skeleton vibe to it too!”
She just nods because she doesn’t have a clue what I’m talking about and hands me the remote. Turning the TV to Coraline, she snuggles up next to me and I hear a rumble of thunder just outside. A storm is coming in. I think we will sit here all night and watch weird kid movies, then it dawns on me I get to introduce so many things to my little girl. Movies, snacks, music.
When I gave her up for adoption, I thought Franklin and Maranda were white picket fences, private schools, and manners every kid should have. Something I couldn’t give a little girl, but it occurs to me now that everyone’s life is both good and bad. It’s how it goes and there’s nothing you can do about it.
“Lust like a saint, trust like a sinner,” I mutter to myself, the words of my grandfather still with me to this day.
Even those who seem like saints lust for things, and you can’t really trust anybody because everyone is a sinner and nobody will trust the sinner in you.
The older I get, the more sense his saying makes, in fact, it’s made me who I am today.
Delilah Rose fucking Kingsman.
The Fucking End.