Mac didn’t need to know.
Guilt stirred in Lachlan’s gut.
He shouldn’t touch her again.
It was the right thing to do.
The loyal thing to do.
And yet he couldn’t get the damn taste of her off his tongue.
Worse … he wanted more.
So much more.
17
Robyn
Thankfully, Mac seemed to accept that I was flustered from being caught in a torrential downpour and had no idea what just occurred between me and his boss/friend.
Since it had been over a week since I’d seen my father, it shouldn’t have been a surprise to find him walking around his suite, but it was. He was recovering fast, which shouldn’t have been a surprise either. He’d answered the door, taken one look at the state of me, and dug out an oversized T-shirt for me to change into. He’d then called housekeeping to collect my clothes to dry them as fast as possible; they’d brought tea too.
Since I was eight inches shorter than my father, his T-shirt almost hit my knees. I used his blow-dryer for my hair, and he insisted I tuck a throw across my lap. He then shoved a hot mug of tea into my hands. I wanted to tell him not to bother because my blood was still on fire from the hottest make-out session of my life.
Why Lachlan Adair?
I barely liked the man.
In fact, I wasn’t even sure I barely liked him.
And now I was facing Mac, the tension thick between us, and I felt exhausted and overwhelmed by … well, my freaking life.
Mac was settled in an armchair across from me, his feet on a stool. We stared silently at one another. Every lamp was switched on in the room to fight the gloom of the dark clouds over Ardnoch.
“It rains here a lot,” I muttered inanely.
“Welcome to Scotland, sweetheart,” Mac replied dryly.
“Do you miss LA?” It had been his semipermanent residence for years while Lachlan was making bank in Hollywood.
“Sometimes I miss the good weather. I don’t miss LA.”
“Do you get bored here?”
He shook his head. “No. I like the peace and quiet. And I travel during my annual leave for a change of pace.”
“I haven’t traveled much.”
“No?”
“Regan and I always said we’d go backpacking together.” I smirked unhappily. “She went with some friends instead. I had my job. I couldn’t just take three months off.” Maybe if I had, our relationship wouldn’t be in tatters. I wouldn’t have gotten shot. But then if I hadn’t gotten shot, Regan wouldn’t have had the chance to prove how selfish she is.
“How is Regan?”
Remembering how Mac used to be Uncle Mac to my little sister, I shrugged, my bitterness probably clear to hear and see. “I wouldn’t know. She walked out of my life after the shooting. Like I said, took off backpacking. Mom called to say she’s worried about her, but she won’t tell me why, and Regan won’t call me back.”
Mac’s eyes narrowed. “It’s not up to you to chase her. Your sister is a grown woman.”
“But that’s what you do for family. You never give up on them, even if they give up on you.”
Dismay filled Mac’s expression. “Oh sweetheart … I never once gave up on you.”
This was it.
We were doing this.
Blood rushed in my ears. “Funny, it felt an awful lot like it.”
Mac leaned forward in his chair, winced, and sat back.
Reminded of his wound, I said, “Maybe we shouldn’t do this now.”
“We’re doing this. You came all the way here so we could do this. And I want you to say everything you came here to say. No matter how difficult it might be to hear.”
Emotion clogged my throat. Where did I start? How did I do this? My mouth made up my mind for me. “I didn’t see you for nearly a year after my twelfth birthday. And then you missed my thirteenth and my fourteenth before you showed up again.”
“I know,” he replied hoarsely, his guilt clear.
Tears filled my eyes. “I shouldn’t care. I’m twenty-eight. I’ve lived my entire adult life without you, and I’m lucky because I genuinely like myself and who I am … but after I got shot, I realized I’d never stopped wondering what it was about me that wasn’t lovable to you.”
“Oh, Robyn, no—”
“I didn’t become a cop because of Seth. I thought I did. But when they told me my heart stopped in surgery, it hit me that I would’ve died for a job I only pursued to feel closer to a man who didn’t even know I was on an operating table, fighting for my life.”
Mac’s eyes were bright, his devastation clear and confusing for me.
I gestured to him. “See … I don’t get it. I don’t get how you could leave me all those years if you feel something for me.”
“I love you,” he whispered harshly. “You are my daughter, and I have loved you from the moment the doctor put you in my arms as a wee bairn.”