Alpha's Vow (Shifter Ops 2)

“Of course you’re not, angel. No one should have to deal with what happened to you. It was fucked up.”

Her lips turn inside, pressed together, and she slumps her shoulders. “You can deal with it.” I don’t know why her words sound like an accusation rather than an accolade.

“I’m nearly indestructible, Charlie, and I trained in the military my entire adult life. I’ve been in situations like that before.”

“Yeah,” she mumbles. “I sort of got the feeling you’re in situations like that on a monthly basis.”

I stare at her, concrete filling my trunk. Where is she going with this?

“Am I right?” she demands.

I nod. “Yeah. But like I said, I’m not human. It’s different.”

Charlie turns her head away, blinking rapidly. My body tightens. My mate is crying—because of me. “I don’t want to think about you out there crashing to your death in flaming helicopters. Or getting every part of your body shot up. I mean, you said nearly indestructible. You can be killed, can’t you?”

I throw my hands in the air, getting up from the bed. “Charlie, anyone can be killed at any time. You can’t dwell on it.”

Charlie gets up, too, tugging on her own fingers. “It’s not what I want,” she blurts.

I go still. “What do you mean?” I ask softly, dread creeping through my veins with icy tentacles.

“I had a plan, remember?” Her eyes are still brimming with unshed tears, and her voice trembles.

I try to swallow, and fail. “I remember.”

“My life was supposed to be boring and stable. I want that life back. I need it.” She’s twisting her fingers together now and it breaks my heart. I want to go to her and fold her into my arms, but she’s still backing away. “I can’t take the worry. I grew up always worrying whether one parent or the other would make it back. And now Chad, too. I can’t do that with you. And I don’t want our child to have to live that life, either.”

“Charlie…” I start to walk around the bed, but she holds up her hand.

“Please. Just let me get this out.” Now the tears spill, two down one cheek, another down the side of her nose. “Lance, when I got kidnapped yesterday, the kidnappers mentioned Black Wolf.”

I frown.

“I think it’s just because they were scared of you guys, but at the time, I thought maybe I was being kidnapped because of you. Because someone found out I was your mate and they wanted to use me to get to you.”

I scrub a hand across my face. “Yeah, I thought that, too,” I admit.

Biggest mistake ever. Charlie’s eyes widen and she covers her mouth, stumbling back. “I was right,” she chokes out.

“No, wait—right about what?” I move into her space, but still don’t touch her. She’s too closed off—her arm wrapped around her waist protectively.

“What you do… your missions… they’re dangerous. And that puts me in danger. That puts our baby in danger.”

“No—” I say, but it’s a lie. She’s right. She’s absolutely right, and it’s like a knife to the gut.

“Lance, I can’t do this. You’re amazing in bed. You’re incredibly sweet and protective, but it’s not enough,” she whispers. “This wasn’t what I wanted. It’s not what I need.”

My heart tumbles out of my chest and thunks to the floor at our feet.

“I’ll be whatever you need, Charlie,” I say across the dry ashes in my mouth.

“You can’t. I’m sorry, Lance. I’m…” She gestures at nothing. “Sunsets in Cabo are nice, but they’re not enough.”

I’m not enough. Rafe was right. I don’t have what it takes to be a dad.

Getting shot was less painful than this.

My wolf is howling so loud, I barely hear Charlie’s next words. “I’m going to go.”

Panic squeezes my chest. “What? Where?”

“I have a plan. I can stay with my parents in Arizona. They’re retired now. They can help me take care of the baby when it’s born.” She’s already turning away, pushing the closet doors open and pulling out two suitcases.

Alarm bells clang through my head, drowning out my wolf. Heat floods my body, nearly making me shift—not from anger, but out of the perceived danger. I’m losing my mate. I’m losing my mate and my pup.

And I can’t stop it.

“When?” I manage to say as I watch her throw clothes into the suitcase.

“Um, right away. I just think a clean break will be easier for both of us. After what happened, I need to get some distance between me and Taos. I thought this would be a good place to raise kids, but I was totally wrong.”

I don’t tell her that leaving me is an impossibility. I mean, she can leave, but I will follow.

But that would only upset her. I need to give her space. She just said she needs a clean break. Distance. I’ll have to hold my wolf back from trailing right after her.