I don’t know how I’ll do it—the instinct to protect her and that unborn pup is so strong, it might kill me. Can a mated wolf go moon mad?
Fuck.
“Okay,” I hear myself say over the rushing in my ears. “I understand.” I pull on my clothes. It’s a lie. I don’t understand. I don’t understand anything.
Or maybe I do.
Rafe was right all along. If I’m not responsible enough to take care of myself, how could I imagine I’m responsible enough to take care of a mate and pup? Charlie doesn’t think I can handle it, that’s obvious.
I’m the guy she had fun with. The guy she calls for good sex and lots of orgasms, but I’m not the guy she wants to settle down with. I’m not the guy she trusts to keep her and her family safe. I’m not the doctor or dentist or CPA who knows how to coach Little League and has never held a gun.
I stick my feet in my boots. “Can I help you pack?” My voice sounds raspy and tired.
Charlie shakes her head. “No.” There are tears in her voice. “It would be easier for me if you left.”
I step in with the urge to kiss her head or temple before I go, but she stiffens and I stop.
Fuck.
“Goodbye,” I murmur as I walk to the door.
“Bye,” she chokes out.
And then it’s over.
Charlie
I throw up as soon as Lance leaves. After I’ve retched, I start bawling. I had no idea breaking up could feel so awful. But I can’t do this.
I call Sadie to come over and help me pack. Tabitha’s staying with Adele—and after what Adele’s been through, I don't want to bug her. Her business partner’s dead, and she was questioned about his murder. She’s going through enough.
But when my doorbell rings, all three of my friends are standing outside. And I fall apart all over again.
We spend all morning and half the afternoon getting everything important for the short term shoved into my Subaru. The rest I can come back and get when I sell the house. Or when my heart isn’t breaking into a million shattered pieces and I am able to think straight.
“Are you sure this is the right thing?” Sadie keeps asking. “I mean, look at you.” She gestures at me with her forehead wrinkled in concern. “You haven’t stopped crying all day.”
“I know. It’s the hormones. I’m sure.”
“I don’t think it’s just the hormones.” Adele cocks a hip, but her face is also creased with worry. “Charlie, you had a big scare. You could’ve died, and it was my fault.” Adele blinks, her jaw taut.
“No it wasn’t,” I interrupt.
“I never should’ve gotten involved with Bing. That was supposed to be me they kidnapped.”
“That doesn’t make it your fault!” I exclaim. “This isn’t about fault. It was just a wake-up call to me about what kind of life I want to provide for my child. I need stability. I need to be with my parents in their quiet little retirement community, where nothing exciting happens and everyone wants to make a baby smile.”
“I don’t think children are even allowed to live in retirement communities,” Tabitha says slowly.
I pause. She might be right. “Well, my parents will help me figure it out. Can you watch Merlin for me for a little while?”
“Of course,” Tabitha says.
“Thanks.” I force a smile. “I’ll get him when I move.”
“But what about your job? What about… us?” Sadie asks in a small voice. Adele puts an arm around her and Sadie moves closer, sniffling. Fuck, we’re all going to be crying by the time I drive out of here.
I cross the room and put my hands on Sadie’s shoulders. “I love you guys. I do. I love you so much. But I really need to go. I need… time.” And space.
“What about Lance?” Tabitha asks.
Pain in my chest, like I’ve been knifed. I grit my teeth against it before answering. “I don’t want to talk about him.”
“Charlie…” Adele stops. “Drive safely. Call me when you get there if you want to talk.”
“Me too,” Sadie says.
“Me three.” Tabitha folds me into her arms.
I try to swallow the fresh wave of sobs hitting me. I give each of them a hug. “Thank you all. Thank you so much. I’ll be in touch.”
I climb in the Subaru, and start the engine.
As I pull out, I catch sight of a pair of silver-blue eyes glinting from behind the bushes at my fence.
Lance.
I gulp down a sob. Again.
And then I drive away.
Lance
After Charlie drives away, I have Teddy fly me a hundred miles into the wilderness and drop me off. I figure it’s the only way I can keep from following her, and mere survival will keep my wolf busy for a while.
Four days later, I limp onto Black Wolf property, my paws bloody and raw, my fur matted with snow.