Finding Solace

I didn’t get the chance to confront him or talk to her before they made their couple debut on a Friday night at Red River.

Billy remained by my side, the only one I trusted. He hung out with me all summer. He didn’t discuss Delilah but let me when I felt the need. I realized it wasn’t about the quantity of friends I had, but the quality that mattered. We built my mom a new fence with all the spare time we had to burn before I returned to college in the fall.

I said goodbye to my mom and almost took the long route out of town, passing by the Noelle farm. Almost.

Instead, I took Main and hit the highway. I was gone and had no plans to come back. I would play college football on a scholarship and then get drafted into the NFL.

Sometimes, life doesn’t go as planned.

Sometimes, you don’t end up playing pro ball.

Sometimes, you don’t get the girl.

Sometimes, you find yourself living a life you never expected.

Sometimes, you wish you could go back and change the things you regret the most.

Wiggling the lock on the window, I test its strength. The blinds are bent, but the seal is solid around the glass. The house is safe, but I’ll double-check it once my mom goes to bed.

Because sometimes, you become a man who has an exit plan to escape the life you created.

I drop the photo on the nightstand, giving it more respect than being forgotten among my old stash of magazines and start to wonder if I should stop by the farm while I’m in town.

3

Delilah Rae Noelle

Jason Koster rolled into town as though he still owned it. He just might, considering he’s the talk of the town after only being back a week.

Just like old times.

It’s not as if the locals have anything better to gossip about, but I don’t like being thrown into the mix. I’ve managed to keep most of my drama at bay despite Cole’s best efforts. But here I am at the center of everyone’s chatter because I once dated the hometown hero.

And then he broke my heart.

I felt a surge of giddiness when I first got wind he was back. That flew out the window when I started to worry how Cole would react. I’ve finally found a peaceful co-existence with him in this godforsaken town, but now this will stir everything right back up.

From the time they were five and catching tadpoles out on the shores of the lake, Jason and Cole had been best friends until I came between them. Insecurity and immaturity sent me into the arms of someone who should have never been more than a friend.

Among other hard lessons, I’ve learned the word catastrophe is also spelled C-O-L-E C-U-T-L-E-R.

I’ve made amends with myself over my role in that relationship and marriage. Amends with lingering regrets. I made things as right as I could with the people I hurt—the people I always loved and who cared about me, like Meredith Koster. She’d been like a second mother to me when my own mother passed away.

My sister, who’d endured snide comments about what a whore I was. Endured, minus the time she knocked Sabrina Smith right in the kisser for calling me a slut. Shelby Noelle had never been in a fight prior, much less clocked someone, but everyone has their limits, and Sabrina Smith pushed my sister’s that day. Sabrina still crosses the street when she sees the Noelle sisters. She was a mean girl all through school, so it’s not a loss to us.

Billy Langston is one of my constants. If you would have asked me at fifteen if the geeky kid who had lanky legs and a really bad sense of humor would one day be the only man I relied on, I would have laughed all night. Now I know better. Sometimes, the underdogs become the true heroes.

He’s been there more times than I can count and has stood by me. I’ve never asked him why. I often wonder what his answer will be, but I’m afraid to ask in case it changes things. Both he and Daryl were caught in the middle of this ugly triangle back in the day, but while Daryl firmly took Cole’s side against Jason, Billy is a trusted ally of mine.

I’ve dropped more than a few hints to my sister about possibly hooking them up. Billy’s outgrown those gangly legs, and his sense of humor is better than I remembered. He has made me laugh more than I imagined possible.

Now that Jason’s back, I’m curious how that might affect my relationship with Billy. I’ve noticed he’s not around as much, but I don’t say anything. Jason is one of his best friends. I imagine they’ve picked up as if no time has passed at all.