Finding Solace

I set the note aside and reach for the uniform. Laughing, I stand and hold the skirt to my hips. Not sure if this will still fit, but I’m willing to squeeze into it for Jason. With the top and bottom part of the uniform in hand, I rush back down the ladder and into the house.

“Shelby?” I run to the hall and call upstairs, “Shelby? Where are you?”

“Stop yelling, Delilah. I’m in here,” she calls from the other room. It’s been great having my sister home. Working remotely is allowing her to rediscover her love for country life. With the farm paid off, she gets to decide her future and whether she returns or stays. Secretly and not so secretly, I hope she stays.

I rush into the kitchen, my boots coming to a halt against the linoleum. Holding up the outfit, I ask, “Will you help me get ready?” A smile already sits on her face when she turns around with an iced tea in hand. Like me, she can’t hide anything in her eyes. “You know what this is about, don’t you?”

“Maybe.” She shrugs before setting her glass on the table and taking me by the arm. “Come on. Let’s get you ready.”

32

Jason

Billy drives his fists down on my shoulders. “All done.”

Suited up in my old football uniform, the jersey is stretched across my broader shoulders. “It’s been a long damn time since I wore pads.”

“You’re a big dude, you know that?”

Chuckling, I bend down to tie my shoes. “Yeah. I’m aware.” When I stand, the cleats add some height. “Shorty.”

“At six one, I’m not usually considered short.”

“Eh, don’t worry. We’re not playing football anymore. What time you got?”

“Ten till eight.”

“I’m going to head out there.”

We shake hands, but I bring him in for a chest press. “Are you hugging me, man?” he asks.

“Maybe. Just go with it.” He remains, and I inwardly laugh. “Thanks for everything you’ve done to take care of Delilah over the years.” We step back, and I grab the helmet. Holding it under my arm, I make sure I have everything else I need. “Thank you for tonight, too.” I want everything just right for her.

Giving me a middle-finger salute, he replies, “Aye aye, captain.” Some things never change. The smart-ass. When we enter the tunnel that leads to the field, he stops. “Good luck out there.”

“Thanks, but I never need luck.” I just need her. We walk in opposite directions. By the time I reach the field, the sun is starting to set. I scan the field and then the bleachers.

Six field exits.

Three on the far side.

Three behind me.

Ten exits up the bleachers.

Five on each side.

I make my way to the fifty-yard line, put my helmet on, and wait. This afternoon, the rest of the pieces of my life fell together . . .

Delilah and the farm are free from Cutler forever. It didn’t take much to get him to sign. I recommended it might be safer for him in jail than roaming free if he didn’t. I simply rubbed my neck and bam, he signed. I’m just here to pick it up.

I expected the coward to give in, but I didn’t expect to happen so quickly. Sitting across from Cutler, I don’t say anything. I’m not sure what to say anyway, but he does. “You were a good friend to me, Jason.”

I scrub a hand over my jaw. “I was.”

“I’m sorry. I loved her.” The fucker knows nothing about love. Never has.

“No, you didn’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have laid a finger on her. If you truly loved her, you would have wanted to see her happy, which she was with me.”

“I’ll tell her I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.” I stand. “Don’t ever contact her again. This paperwork is all she needs from you.”

The guard releases the door, and I walk out. With glass dividing us, he yells, “I’m sorry.”

He will be sorry. Where he’s going, there are no friendships, no future, or direction. He’ll understand a little of the hell I went through. Then maybe, he’ll be sorry. But right now, the asshole doesn’t have a clue.

. . . The bright lights flick on, lighting up the stadium and surrounding area. The scoreboard comes on next. The final score from that night years ago lights up the board. It was a good game for me, one of my best, so it’s fun to relieve that memory before things went to shit.

I spy Billy looking over the field from the announcer’s booth and give him a thumbs-up.

When he returns it, I know he’s spotted Delilah. The second she comes through that tunnel, it’s as if the night becomes a lot brighter.

Shelby was helping me on the inside and got her here as promised. When Delilah sees me, she stops, wearing a wide smile I can see clear across this field. As much as I want to greet her, I don’t. It has to be perfect. For her. So I stay. When she heads to where she used to cheer, I know the plan is coming together. I continue to wait, and she keeps peeking my way.