Finding Solace

“Nope, sweet face, I’m not.”

After looking up at the stars for a few seconds, she finally looks at me. “It’s not stolen?”

“No. All earned with my blood, literally, sweat, and hard work.” I run my hands over her waist, not able to resist her soft skin. “You have full access. And that’s it, no more secrets. You know everything now.”

Her hands slide under my jersey, her warmth penetrating my skin. “I guess I should confess my final secret to you, too.”

She’s never been one for secrets, or so I thought. “What secret?”

A devilish grin is followed by her dipping the top of her skirt down. “You know my tattoo?”

“Yes.” I stop her hand and look around. It’s way too low to expose in the middle of this stadium. What can I say? I’m a jealous bastard. “My number eight that’s nowhere close to twenty-two?”

She giggles. “That would be the one.”

“What about it?”

With both hands, she tugs me close, and whispers, “I wasn’t drunk.”

A grin grows across my face. “Have I ever told you how sexy that tattoo is?”

“Nope.” A little hip wiggle punctuates her reply.

“How about I show you?”

Boy, do I.

I show her three times, in fact, before the rooster crows the next morning.

33

Jason

I shift for like the tenth or twentieth time in the five minutes I’ve been sitting here. Maybe there’s still time to bolt. The door opens. Guess not. I stand, unsure what I’m supposed to do or what I should say.

“Jason, good to see you.” We greet each other with a handshake.

“You too, sir.” I sit back down as he sits in his chair on the other side of the desk.

“Stephen is fine.”

“Yes, sir.” Habit.

“Look, son, I’m glad you finally came by. It’s been a while since we’ve had a chance to talk.”

“Yeah, I think maybe the last time was when I was fifteen. It was a warning about masturbation and the dangers of it.”

He starts laughing. “Yeah, for the parents’ sake, we give all the boys around that age the same warning. If not, imagine the mess on their hands.”

I think the minister just made a joke. Am I allowed to laugh or was that a slip up? “So we don’t go to hell for it?” Checking, just in case.

Leaning forward, he lowers his voice. “Look, masturbation is natural, but you don’t want it to control your life. Do you have a masturbation problem you’d like to discuss?”

Shaking my head, I’m horrified and squeak, “No. I’m all good in that department.” Having lots of sex out of wedlock, though, currently. I’m pretty sure he’s well aware. Clearing my throat, I finish by saying, “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Why are you here?” He leans back in his chair, giving me a full view of the cross on display above his head.

“You might have heard the rumors.”

“I was happy to hear that the angels played a hand in bringing you and Delilah together again.”

I’m not sure how to say what I want versus what I should with him. “Is everything between us confidential?”

“Yes. Unless it’s illegal. I can help you repent to the Lord, but not keep you out of jail. What is it, son?”

Resting my forearms on my legs, I whisper, “I’m seeking forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness from God?”

I glance toward the stained-glass window. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but I don’t regret them either.” Turning back to him, I add, “But I also want to spend eternity with Delilah, so I’m coming to you for help.”

Steepling his fingers, he studies me. “Hmm. Interesting quandary. Can you elaborate?”

“Not really. I can tell you that I didn’t carry God with me while I was gone. I’d lost faith and left Solace Pointe to find if there was still good in the world.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

Sitting back, I cross my ankle over my knee and think about his question. “I found some good but needed faith to find the rest.”

Mimicking me, he pushes back in chair. “Ironic, isn’t it?”

“I had nowhere to go, but my motorcycle led me back home.”

“Back to town or to the Noelle farm?”

I smile. I can’t help it. “To Delilah.”

“And what did you find once you were there?”

“Myself.”

He nods with an all-knowing smile. “You don’t need to seek forgiveness, Jason. You needed to follow your heart, and you did. That’s where good lives and will always lead you exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

I blame the sun for shining in my eyes and causing them to water. Not the gorgeous woman walking on the arm of her sister down a pink rose-petal aisle. I’ll never admit otherwise.

Yup, the sun. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Billy nudges me. “Are you crying?”

“Are you?” I snap back.

“Maybe.” He shrugs it off. “A little.”

“My soon-to-be wife is beautiful.”

With our eyes ahead on the ladies, he says, “I like Shelby.”