“No.” I felt the tears start to well. “I’m so sorry, Mark, I can’t, I can’t do this.” I don’t know if it was the stress, the actual failure, or the fact that I was being held by my once enemy that I now had confusing emotions toward and was terrified of so many other things like failing after college, but I lost it.
Mark sighed and slowly pulled us back to the platform.
Whatever we once had between us was gone now, wasn’t it? Because I couldn’t jump. Maybe that had always been my problem. Where Mark jumped and hoped he didn’t fail. I jumped only when I knew I wouldn’t.
I sat back onto his lap as I heard the first team hit the finish line with a giant sound of crazy music and cheers.
And then the other.
And then the other.
Then silence.
Mark was rubbing my back in slow circles. “It’s okay, Olivia.”
“It’s not okay!” I snapped. “I made us lose all because I couldn’t jump off a stupid thing, and now who knows what’s going to happen to us!”
His smile was sad. “You didn’t make us lose anything. You tried really hard, and you got scared. I really don’t want to have to remind you about the snake incident and dream building a bed frame, but if I must, I must.”
I turned my head into his chest in a combo of a laugh-cry as he held me closer and kissed my forehead. “We all have fears. What’s important is we face them, even if that means we pass out and embarrass ourselves in front of pretty girls and look like idiots.”
“Aw, you said it, so I didn’t have to!” I held him tighter.
Our eyes locked as he whispered. “As much as I used to hate you, do you ever think I’d let you fall?”
“You never hated me.” I cupped his chin as a final tear fall onto our clasped hands. “Did you?”
“Only because I couldn’t have you,” he finally said. “Now, before I make you cry again for being so damn nice and honest. and hot, let’s not forget hot.”
I rolled my eyes. “You were doing so well.”
“It’s like a sickness. Honestly, I can’t explain it.” He shook his head. “Why don’t we face your fear like you attempted to help me last night before knocking myself out and jump.”
He was being so sweet.
So honest.
Why did he have to suddenly become the knight when I really needed him to still be the troll that kept me from going across the bridge into my employment promised land?
“Only if you go with me and don’t push me…” I stood on wobbly legs.
“Always.” He grinned. “We’re ready now, sir.”
“But the competitions over.” He looked between us. “Are you sure?”
“Y-yes.” I got the word out like a nervous kid standing in front of a million people at a spelling bee who forgot how to spell cat. “We’re ready.”
“All right.” He double-checked our equipment. “But remember, the choice to jump off the platform has to be yours.”
The way he said it hit me.
The choice has to be mine.
Not Mark’s.
Not my parents’.
Not anyone’s but mine.
“I need you to count down from three,” I called back to Mark. “And hold me as tight as humanly possible.”
“Counting might be hard with such a high number.” He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. “But holding you tight…I can do that, Olivia. All you have to do is ask.”
“Stop being sweet. It’s creepy!”
“Stop being cute. It’s distracting.”
My smile was a huge, terrifying thing as he counted down from three, and when he said one, I jumped, on my own, with Mark behind me holding on for dear life.
I thought nobody would be watching.
That they’d already be celebrating and enjoying their beer and stupid food, but instead, it was like they were waiting for us as I took in all the lights, the torches, the crowds, and the cheers that went up.
My stomach nearly dropped out of my body, but the feeling of being free was worth it as we made it to the bottom and jolted to a stop near another small platform.
The volunteers unhooked our equipment and congratulated us.
Which was a bit weird.
“You did it!” Mark pulled me in for a hug just as Max approached sans microphone smiling like we’d just won instead of lost.
“Good job, team.” He slapped Mark hard enough on the back to dislodge a rib and then turned to me. “I’m very proud of you guys. You finished the race even though you had no reason to.”
“Proud?” I repeated. “But Max, we lost?”
“Some of the best things in life are gained…by losing.”
Confessional 2
Max
“So you seem excited that they lost?” Rick asked once we were in front of the cameras doing another confessional. “Tell us why.”
I stared him down. “Isn’t it obvious? They had the best teamwork. He didn’t care about winning; he cared about her, specifically more than I would like two employees to care for each other in front of others.”