The thing is, that might have been possible if not for all the other things. With every grip, rut, and curse he proclaimed me his. His possessiveness and proclamations of ownership brought my ability to compartmentalize this dalliance to almost non-existent. Let’s not forget about the room he had set up for Katya. He went above and beyond to make this experience wonderful, including the ambience in the room, and I guess it is safe to say, I got sucked in. Now here I am, the morning after, feel the aftereffects of the afterglow and I couldn’t feel emptier and more bereft. “Get your head out of the clouds, Eden.” I allow myself one more second of ‘what if’ before I climb out of the bed, grimacing and moaning at the aches?
In the bathroom, I stare at myself for a second, gazing at the bite marks and evidence of his passion. I heard girls at school talking about how immediately after they could see the difference in themselves. They could tell that they had become a woman. Looking in the mirror, I see the same young lost girl I was before I gave my virtue to a stranger. Well, that’s not true. I am different. I am no longer a virgin, and I am pretty sure I am heartbroken.
Pity party over, I get in the shower and clean him from my body. It isn’t until I get out, I realize I still have no clothes here. Shit. Shrugging, I go into his drawer once more, grab another pair of sweats and a t-shirt and walk out the bedroom. I need to grab Katya and leave before he returns. Once again, I marvel at his house and how beautiful it is. The thing is, I know he is a criminal. From the rumors in the neighborhood, he is a dangerous man. But I can’t reconcile the monster with the man who has been so good to me and my sister. “Time to wake up giggles.” I open the door and everything spins. “Katya!” I yell into the room, looking under the bed and behind the doors. Oh God. Where is she? I am such a fool. I left her alone in a room, in a house with people I don’t know. Please no.
I run out of the room and down the stairs, not sure where I am going. Every room I check is empty as I call her name, hoping to find she had woken up and wandered somewhere. My heart shatters as my eyes well up in tears until I find her sitting at the kitchen counter with a plate full of blueberry pancakes. “Edie!” she says, her voice full of enthusiasm as she eats her favorite food.
“Oh God. Katya.” I pull her into my chest and hug her, squeezing her.
“Edie. Too tight.” she pulls back from me and smiles. “Are you okay?” she asks, mouth half full.
“Yes, giggles. I am fine. I was just worried when you weren’t in the bedroom. Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“Nanny came and brought me to the kitchen. She said breakfast was ready.” this is the first time I have looked at the woman next to the stove.
“I’m sorry. Uh. My name is Eden. Katya is my baby sister.” I say smiling at the woman.
“I know, dear. Mister Vik told me. Please. Have a seat. Plenty of food.” Wow. Everything looks so good. My stomach picks this moment to growl. I would be a liar if I denied I am not starving. But we really need to go.
“Thank you so much for the offer. But, unfortunately, Kat and I need to get ready to go.” she looks at me, confused, like she does not know what I am talking about. Makes sense, I guess. I’m sure he wouldn’t advertise to his household staff about paying for virgins.
“We are leaving Edie? Why? I like my new room.” her voice makes the regrets plenty and prevalent. I see what was just sunshine, growing dim.
“Katya, I told he was just a friend giving us somewhere to stay for the night. That isn’t your room giggles. We are going to move and find us a house so you can any kind of room you want. Ok?” she nods her little head and puts it down. “Listen. Why don’t you finish your breakfast, I will go upstairs, grab your bag and mine and then what do you say we hit the road?” she looks at me and shrugs her shoulders.
“Ok.” she says, her sad little voice making me regret this even more. The gracious lady is looking at me like I have lost my mind.
“Do you mind watching her for a moment while I gather our things?”
“Of course not, but may I inquire why you are leaving? I am certain…”