“I still can’t believe you never told me you were a virgin.”
“You never asked.” She didn't. I was a serial dater. I could see why she would think I wasn't one. Thing is, I would never let things get far with the people I dated before. When the guy would push for more I was out the door. I always found a fault in the men, even when they met everything on the list of things I had been looking for.
I know now it’s because that list was shallow. I looked for surface things. Then when I’d start to get to know them I couldn’t bring myself to get close to them because they weren’t what I really wanted. I might have kissed a lot of frogs but I still remained lonely. Which is something that no amount of money would ever be able to fix.
“Lie of omission.”
“I’m sorry.” She is right. We are best friends. It is messed up that I kept it from her when we share everything about our lives.
“I forgive you. Is there anything else you need to tell me? Now is your chance.”
“I stole his driver’s license.” I quickly toss that in the pot so that she has a full understanding of this situation. I don’t even know why I did it, but hopefully she will have some insight into my actions.
“What?” She looks at me as though I’m crazy. I reach into the pocket of my pants, pulling it out and handing it to her. “And you’re carrying it around.” She laughs, looking at the identification.
“At least we know where to find him.” She reaches for her phone, snaps a picture of it, and hands it back to me. I’m not even going to ask why she needs it.
“It’s an office building. Maybe he has his day job as his address?” I’m guessing he works nights bartending but this is all guesswork. I broke a few weeks ago and called the club, asking to speak to the bartender Ethan and was told that no one by that name worked there. I wanted to give us a try. I couldn’t shake the feeling of needing him. I miss him, which is crazy. I spent one night with him.
“So you’ve already been there?” She raises one of her eyebrows at me, knowing that I have.
“Maybe I strolled by a few times.”
“How many is a few?” she challenges.
“You’re my best friend. Why are you trying to call me out on my shame?” I groan, falling back onto the sofa. I’ve walked past the building more times than I’m willing to admit, not even to myself. I was hoping I’d run into him. Then I could play dumb, acting as though it was a complete accident.
“You know if you randomly run into him, he’s going to ask about you stealing his stuff.”
I cringe. I didn't think about that little detail. “Lovely. I still have to go to see him so he’ll get his chance to call me out on a few things.” I sit up, staring at his picture again. The memories of how he looked, how he sounded, his scent often consume my thoughts but still I stare at his license often. I was stupid to leave that night the way that I did. I always think I know what's best but I end up getting myself into shitty situations.
“Let’s go pass by there now. I can have Max run his name, too. To make sure he’s on the up and up.”
“He was definitely on the up and up all night long when I was with him.” I make the terrible joke that sends us both into a fit of giggles. It's laugh or cry. I’m going to go with laughter.
2
Ethan
“You look like shit.”
I scrub my hand down my face, knowing my brother’s right. I don’t only look that way, I feel it, too. I stand up from the sofa in my office, stretching out. I spend entirely too many nights sleeping on that thing. Even more so recently. I usually only go to my home to change and more often than not I send someone to pick me up suits. I try to avoid it altogether. I can’t shake the feeling I have when I’m in it. I’ve grown to hate it over the past few months.
It feels cold and empty. Everything in my life seems to these days. Ever since I woke up to find that my future wife had up and left. I’m constantly on edge. My mind is preoccupied thinking about what went wrong. If I did something to scare her off. Our night together was intense. My whole world had shifted.
“What are you doing here?” I walk into the private bathroom in my office.
“Someone has to check on you. Make sure you’re not becoming an alcoholic.”