“I shouldn't have left,” I say, finally admitting out loud the words that I’ve been thinking since I walked out of that hotel.
“Told you. I don’t mind chasing you.” He leans back in the chair. “I have a feeling it won’t be the last time I have to chase after you.” He doesn’t look fazed by it. He doesn't seem concerned in the least about catching me; instead, he looks confident in the fact that he always will. His declaration has my heart doing something funny in my chest. I can’t remember a time when someone wanted to claim me as theirs and keep me. Jeez. I'm starting to sound so sappy. It has to be these pregnancy hormones.
“I’m not running.” I look back to the screens with my face filling them. I want that look again. I want him. I want him to want me, too. Not to stay because he finds out that I’m pregnant. There is no rush to tell him. I have a little time. “I want you,” I admit.
“I know you want me.” He doesn’t sound cocky as he says it. “I want more than that.”
“What if I don’t have more to give?” I lick my lips, feeling unsteady. I can’t get my own mind to settle on what I want. One second I think he’ll freak out if he finds out I’m pregnant and the next I’m scared he’ll only want to stay with me because I’m carrying his child. Oh, let’s not forget the one I’d cooked up about him taking the baby from me altogether.
What excuse will I use next because I'm scared that the words he's saying are the truth? That he really is here to give me all of him? That he is in love with me? I’m so afraid to admit that I love him because I don’t know how to navigate that. It makes me feel out of control. But for the first time, I want to try. I want to love and be loved.
“We’ll get there.” He stands, coming around the desk. “I’m going to make you fall in love with me, dollface. I need all of you.”
I want to tell him that I’m already there but I don’t.
10
Ethan
I rub my hand down my face, feeling frustrated. I don’t want to push her but I know she’s keeping something from me. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is but I can feel her holding back. I’ve been keeping something from her, too. My fucking cock. I reach down, adjusting myself.
I’ve had a constant hard-on with my dollface always flitting about. She is currently out cold in my bed. Her hair is tousled and she lets out the sexiest little puffs of air as she sleeps. She looks beautiful and soft when she’s asleep. That hard front that she always tries to hide behind is nowhere to be found.
Everything she does turns me on. Every single kiss and touch is like a gift to me. I already thought that I loved her that night so many months ago, but over the past few days I’ve fallen deeper with each new thing I learn about her. It was one thing to read about her life in the files I had pulled on her, but a whole other thing to hear it directly from her lips.
She has really tried to open up to me as much as she can. I know we’ll get there, but waiting to make her mine forever is torture. Yet, I have no choice because my little flower needs nurture and love so that she can bloom. She’s delicate and I know that I need to handle her with care.
She is funny, sweet and damn, did she have a good bite to her when she wanted to play. She is the whole damn package. She’s been dealt a shit card in this game of life. She came into this world in less than ideal circumstances and she didn't take it out on anyone. Unless you count herself. She throws up walls to keep herself safe. I get it.
If you go your whole life feeling unwanted, it’s scary as fuck to think someone actually does want you. What it would do to you if they ever did want to leave you? I understand where she’s coming from. I may not agree with it, but I understand why she feels the need to erect those walls. She doesn’t have to worry, though, because I’m not going anywhere, ever.
I am being patient. Well, as much as I can without really letting her out of my sight. I am trying to prove to her that I’m her forever. That she never has to worry about me leaving her because she is my life, my forever. I think that I'm making some progress.