I get what he's saying. I worked hard to make sure I’d never have to worry, but in doing all these things to make myself feel safe, I wasn't actually enjoying the things in life that I could be.
“The things you want.”
“I think you get it.”
I nod. “I made sure I dated men I knew I’d never fall for.” I shake my head. I’m not even mad at myself for it. Whatever this path is that I took led me to being here in Ethan’s lap. “I thought I didn't want kids.”
“Thought?” He cocks his head to the side.
“Not like you give it up for me to even have a kid,” I fake tease.
“Dollface. I’ll bend you over the arm of this sofa and put a baby inside of you right now if you want.”
My whole body tingles at the idea. As much as I’ve loved his mouth on me this past week I miss him being deep inside of me. That connection with nothing between us. Him kissing me as we made love. Yes, love. That’s what this is.
“We can’t do that.” I run my hands up his chest, playing with one of the buttons on his dress shirt.
“We can do anything we want.”
“Well, you can bend me over the sofa.” I pop the top button. “But you can’t put a baby inside of me today.”
“I can sure try my hardest.” He smirks, causing me to laugh. “I’m offended by your lack of confidence in my baby making skills. I bet I can put more than one in you.”
That makes me laugh a little harder. I’ve never experienced such joy. My heart is full at this moment. “I’m sure you could.” I lean forward, brushing my mouth against his in a light kiss. I feel so much lighter knowing he wants kids. That us being together isn't going to be because I accidentally got pregnant. Though with the way Ethan is talking and how he usually plans for everything, maybe it wasn't an accident at all. Never once did he mention a condom or stop to put one on. “You didn't wear a condom that night.”
“I had no plans then nor do I have any future ones to wear one. I wanted you bare. I wanted everything from you then, as I still do now. There will never be anything between us.”
“So you knew I could get pregnant?”
His hands dig into my hair. “I figured it was a long shot. I might have hoped for it but aren't most women on the pill?” He sounds so disappointed about the last part. “I haven’t seen you take any pills.”
“It’s not always pills.” I shake my head at him. “I’m not on anything and, well, I don’t need to be.”
“You know me holding out from you was only until I got those walls of yours to crumble.”
“They're gone. I love you.”
He tilts my head back. “I love you too, dollface,” he says before he kisses me long and hard. I moan into his mouth. I can feel how much he loves me. It’s been there the whole time; I’ve just been too scared to accept it.
“Forever,” I say against his mouth when I pull back.
“Eternity,” he agrees. He picks me up, carrying me back toward my bedroom. I cling to him, knowing I never have to let go of him if I don’t want to.
“There’s more,” I admit as he lays me down onto the bed.
“I know. I was just about to get it out of you. Get you worked up until you’re about to come then bring you back down. Over and over until my dollface decides to tell me her secret.”
“That I stole from the corner store when I lived with the Robertsons? They wouldn’t let us have candy. I had no choice.”
He laughs against me, kissing me again. “We can start with that.”
“You’re so patient with me.” I skirt around telling him, but he pulls me back with his gentle touch.
“Not sure I’d call it that.” He starts to undress me. I lie back and let him. He stands at the side of the bed, pulling all of my clothes from my body. Every time his eyes trace over my naked body you’d think he is seeing me for the first time. He eats up every inch of me.
He grabs my ankle, lifting my foot to kiss the bottom of it before he slowly kisses down my calf toward my thigh.
“You’re not naked,” I breathe out as he keeps trailing kisses. He’s left his boxer briefs on. He always does. “We’re having sex.” I try and snip at him but I’m so turned on, my voice sounds breathy instead of bossy.
“We are.”
I whimper as he spreads my legs wider, making room for himself. His mouth doesn't stop where I want it. He places a kiss over my mound before moving up toward my stomach, where he places another kiss like he did back at his place.